PTR Arachnid 24601

Ch 37 - It's really just therapy

This is really just the therapy chapter lmao. Just a whole lotta therapy stuff. Peter needs it :pensive: (there's some angst too but therapy)

IMPORTANT NOTE: Just like in the last chapter, before we proceed, I would like to state that the reason why I do not make them figure out what's 'wrong' with Peter immediately is because that would be pretty inaccurate compared to how it would go in reality. Really, the process of figuring out the mental disorder he has can be quite long and I'm already shortening it down quite a bit. Please be aware that I'm trying to simulate the reality of a situation like this the best I can as someone without his disorder.
This does not mean I'm disrespecting the reality of stuff like this is any way, nor am I ignoring all the things I've learned about it in favour of it being more appealing.

WARNINGS: paranoia stuff, a bit of unreality, some imposter syndrome, ignorance of emotions/not taking someone's (Peter's) feelings seriously, some swearing

3rd POV

Peter was sitting in the corner of his room, right between his bookshelf and nightstand. His heart was beating quickly and his eyes were darting between his window and the corner his door was around.

He really doesn't know what he's doing. It's 4 AM and he's scared.  He's scared of something being outside his window and he's scared of someone being outside his door. But he doesn't know why because logically, there couldn't be anything outside his window and whoever could be outside his door would be a friend.

But he's scared.

Peter doesn't know where this paranoia stuff came from, but it started around the time he picked up the meds his therapist prescribed––so, three weeks ago.

Three weeks ago, he began to take meds for paranoia and hallucinations, and three weeks later, they're even worse than they used to be. They were supposed to fix him and make him feel better. But now he can barely leave his room without looking at every window, dark corner, and cracked open door. Not to mention going to school.

He especially can't go out as Spider-Man. He hasn't been out since, well, Captain Stacy, nor does he really want to, but the paranoia just makes it worse. Because what if people know who he is? What if they're stalking him? What if they're going to find him at school? What if they've already found him and they're just waiting for the perfect moment to strike? What if– What if–

{Peter, Peter, calm down, buddy,} Suave interjected for the first time that night.

Peter's gut turned and for a few seconds, he couldn't even respond mentally without feeling like he was going to throw up. Help, he whimpered in his mind, like a caged animal. Help, I don't know what's wrong, Suave. Please, please help. Dr. Steiner is supposed to help me but I feel bad, Suave. He felt like a child begging to their parent, but there's not much else he could do.

{Shhh, shhhh, it's okay, Peter, it's okay,} Suave reassured him.

The brunette weakly appreciated their words, however, he could tell the other didn't quite know what to do either. He brought his knees up closer to his face and curled tighter into the corner.

What if you aren't real? What if you're just my stupid conscious or some voice I made up? I mean– what happens then? What would they do to me? Does that make me crazy? Peter began to sob quietly.

The teen felt Suave flinch back, if that was possible. {Don't– Don't say that. I'm real. I have feelings. I'm a person.} He practically seethed, trying to keep his tone and emotions calm for the sake of the distressed boy he was talking to.