PTR Arachnid 24601

Ch 38 - Don't die

WARNINGS: swearing. some (intentionally) negative/misunderstandings towards mental disorders (specifically DID. See below as to why).

IMPORTANT NOTE: Alright, so Peter has DID! If you see my promoting stigma around DID in anyway, please please please tell me and I will fix it! I've based this all on accurate sources (people with DID) that I will link at the end of this chapter if you want to check them out!

Also, there's going to be some... negativity toward DID purely because, from the sources I've looked at, it can be hard to grasp having DID and getting a hold of everything that comes with it. Trust me, I'm not doing this because I myself see it this way, I'm doing it to get the most accurate portrayal I can. I understand that mental disorder isn't some cute 'understand-it-all-the-first-time' shit. There's gonna be a lot of trial and error with it.

3rd POV

Peter sat, legs crossed, on one of his beanbag chairs at the tower. Soft lofi played in the background and Animal Crossing™ lay forgotten on the TV. The brunette held a purple and white pamphlet in his hands: 'What is Dissociative Identity Disorder? The facts and the fiction.'

The teen frowned. Ever since his appointment with Dr. Woods days prior, Suave had been grumbling in his mind, just like the HYDRA voice did on a regular basis. The youngest voice, on the other hand, didn't really know what was going.

"This can't be real."

"What can't be real, маленький паук?" Natasha asked from the doorway.

Spider's head whipped up, momentarily surprised by her presence. He threw the pamphlet at the redhead, but it fell a foot short. 

Natasha bent down and picked it up, unfolding it to read the contents. "Oh, it's the informational pamphlet Dr. Woods gave you."

"Yeah. When did you get here anyways?" Peter croaked.

"I was knocking on the door for a while but you never answered. I poked my head in to make sure you were actually here," Natasha replied. She walked to the beanbag and handed the brochure back. When it was no longer in her possession, her right hand gently pushed Peter's curls away from his eyes. "How are you, маленький паук?"

"I'm–" Peter made a strangled noise. "I feel fine, I just– I can't really grasp any of this, you know? I looked up some of the resources in the pamphlet and it all just seems so... so fake. This isn't possible. There's gotta be another answer. There can't be– be other people living inside my head. I'm just making things up or something."

Suave made a wounded sound and whispered brokenly, {Dude... We're– we're real, man. As real as you.}

Natasha sighed and pulled the other beanbag up across from Spider, sitting down and facing him. "Маленький паук, I know how outlandish this seems. I did a little bit of research myself–" that was an understatement––she'd spent every night since Peter's appointment looking up DID, "–and it's plausible."

Peter didn't meet her bright jade eyes.

"Peter," the real name made the boy's head raise, "you were in a really harsh environment when you were younger. Harsher than any of us, aside from maybe Bucky and myself, could possibly grasp. If what the websites say is true, and your symptoms really match up––which I don't doubt––then it's a possibility. Dr. Woods knows more about this stuff than you and I do. No doubt you'll talk about this again next session, so maybe try and write down some questions and your thoughts for it. Why don't you tell him what you're telling me?"

Peter sniffed and forced his lips to quirk up minutely. He didn't really believe what Natasha was saying, no matter how much he trusted her, but he'd humour her so she felt better.