Slugger (Sequel to 'The Jet') Benny Rodriguez

Chapter 32

About a month after Ben jr. was born, everything started going back to normal, you'd been busy with a few meetings after recovering, but you'd decided that for now, until the baby got a few years older, you were going to stop all the big promotional stuff, and stay home with him amd the girls.

Recently you had learned that Evangeline joined a wiffle ball team while you were away. She was so small and yet, she could hammer that ball just as hard as you did when your dad taught you. She had natural talent, and didn't even have to practice to be good. You supposed that came with having two parents who lived and breathed the sport.

You'd let little Ben stay with your mom one day after a game, and you were thankful to let her take him because you had to go home and get Eva and Vivi cleaned up before Benny got home. He'd had a press conference this morning, regarding the rumors floating around of him being traded to another team.

I parked the car in front of our lovely house with the white picket fence, only to be met with the smell of smoke when I stepped out. Nothing was on fire, but this was a different kind of smoke, one I could very easily differentiate from the rest. I wondered which one of our neighbors was smoking, since I'd never smelled it before.

You got the girls inside and only then did you notice that Benny's car was parked around the corner, and not in the driveway. Was he home? Why didn't he tell you he'd be here? It didn't add up. The strangest part was that he didn't park the car where he normally did.

You shook it off and helped the girls clean up, beginning to fix them some food while they say in front of the television watching some reruns of their favorite show. You waited for the water to start boiling and opened a window so it didn't get too hot, but then you smelled the smoke eveb more prominently now. You shut the window, going around to the side door and opening it.

There stood Benny, same as he always looked, but between his fingers a cigarette was burning. He exhaled and the proof of what you smelled came from his lips.

"Benny?" You furrowed your eyebrows, scared to even approach him for a moment. He snapped his head at you and looked afraid, like he'd been caught with a murder weapon. 

"Hey, I didn't think you'd be home till later." He threw the smoke to the ground and put it out with his foot before he came over to you.

"The game got done early." You said, thinking of how you were possibly going to address the elephant in the room.

"Oh... listen I-"

"Were you going to tell me?" You looked up at him delicately, the sadness in your eyes reflected into his once he saw them.

"I didn't think I'd still be doing it." He sighed, reaching out a hand to your waist to keep himself tethered to you while he felt you'd grown distant.

"When did you start?" You didn't understand why he was doing it, but you knew there had to be a plausible reason. He wouldn't just do this.

"A while after you left for your tour. The guys gave me a few and said it would help me take my mind off of things." He explained. Now you simply felt guilty. Being without Benny was torturous for you as it were, but now putting yourself in his shoes... you left him for several months all alone, having to take care of the girls by himself. You knew how much he adored you, and now it hurt to think that this was particularly your fault.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know..." you tried to be gentle with him and how you dealt with this situation, because he didn't deserve to be made to feel like he did anything wrong.

"I tried to quit... after Ben was born I stopped for a while, I didn't want to be that kinda dad." He wanted to explain every detail of what drove him to this, but he couldn't quite grasp the words.

"But it's addictive... you needed more." You suggested, and he nodded. You'd seen this happen before, with your dad. He was struggling with an addiction to smoking and then he got lung cancer. He died not even three months after the diagnosis.

"I wish I'd never taken the first one.... now I can't stop." He said, disappointment in himself seeping through his voice.

"It's okay... you just need some help." You took his hand in your own, needing to feel the connection with him that you normally had. It was still there, but weaker than usual.

"I missed you so much." He leaned forward and whispered into your hair while your head lay against his chest.

"I know... I missed you too." You reached behind his neck, to grip tightly to him and make him feel how much you loved him. He was it for you, and he needed to know it.

"I'm gonna try and stop, I promise." His voice broke a little at the end and you knew he meant it.

You heard the water spill over the pan in the kitchen, signaling it had been boiling for a while now.

"We're gonna talk more about this, okay?" You told him and he nodded with his eyes closed before you pulled away and went back into the kitchen to fix the girls their food.

A/n: y'all don't see it quite yet but I am the literal devil for this