Slugger (Sequel to 'The Jet') Benny Rodriguez

Chapter 34

Sat on the cold wooden bench, you had your head against the wall with your eyes closed. You were moments away from testifying in a courtroom against your former stepfather so he would be denied parole. Your mother was next to you, holding your hand and thumping her leg up and down in anxiety.

"It's going to be okay. He won't be let out, trust me." Your mother said, her tone was firm and confident, but her body language said otherwise. She was practically a nervous wreck.

"I know...." You replied, glancing over at her and then looking down at your intertwined hands. It was crazy how you were the calm one right now. "Truth is, coming here today... I thought it would mean a lot more to me, but now? It just doesn't. I don't even care what happens to Mikey."

"Don't say that, you're probably just not thinking straight. Once you get in there, I promise you'll feel differently."

"I don't think so, mom. I think right now, all I want is to go home and be with the kids. Mikey doesn't concern me anymore." You were positive that going in that courtroom, you'd probably not have any different feelings from right now, you would just be rewarded with some rather gruesome memories.

If you walked into that room, it would be the first time you would have seen Mikey since the day he took advantage of you. It wasn't a pleasant thought in your head for right now.

"He needs to stay in prison... what he did to you should keep him behind bars."

"I used to think that what he did to me was the end of the world, at the time it was...."

"But?"

"But I don't feel as angry towards him as I used to." I stared blankly at the wall, and though I should have only one thing on my mind, which was something bad, I could only think of good things. "He's a sick man.... he should be kept out of trouble. I just don't think that it falls on me anymore."

Your mother was confused as she could possibly be, for how strange of you to speak of your abuser as if he meant nothing to you. Why were you treating this as if it wasn't a big deal.

"You remember that night? When Mikey....?"

"I'll never forget." She swore, she seemed so much angier than you were. You held a calm and gentle mood, which was the stark opposite of her.

"Do you remember what day it was?" I asked her, and she furrowed her brows.

"No, I can't say that I do."

You leaned your head back up against the wall, closing your eyes again, if only for a moment to feel peace and calm before this erruption of a storm.

"It was a friday." You paused, thinking back to the Saturday before. "Six days after you married the little bastard. The day you got back from your honeymoon."

"Honey, you don't have to talk about this if you-"

"I remember it was a Friday, because that was the night that Benny and I had planned to lose our virginity." You looked over at my mom and she seemed speechless. Good, you wanted her to be. "I wanted Benny and I got Mikey."

She still seemed at a loss for words, not wanting to admit that it was technically all her fault that you ever went through that.

"I know you were trying to give me a good stepdad, but I didn't want you to." You fiddled with your fingers to try and provide you with some sort of tether while having this conversation with your mom. "I miss dad. Everyday I miss him and now I'm scared because I just don't wanna lose Benny like I lost him."

"Ellis, what's wrong? Why would you lose Benny, he loves you?" She settled her hand on your thigh and you started to tear up. You didn't want to say out loud what the predicament was, because that would make it more real.