Peter Parker One Shots

{Mr. Stank 🅱lease}

Requested by Elda108: Can you di a one shot where Peter is in his class and Tony( hi dad) and the president of America (uncle president) call him for to know who is his favorite ( in front of the class on speaker)

TW: Done™ Peter feat. MJ's crisis sketchbook, Ned laughing his ass off, and Confused Classmates and Teacher. School.

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Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.

"Mr. Parker?" Ms. McLean, their very pretty teacher said, "Is that your phone?"

"Yeah, it is," Peter said, paling a bit at the ringtone and pulling it out.

Ms. McLean grimaced and looked at him in pity, "You know the rules. Sorry, you'll have to put it on speaker."

The class looked at him in pity. Everyone hated that rule, but it was school policy.

Peter sighed and pulled out his phone, "Karen, answer the call," he said. The class looked at him weirdly.

"Are you sure, Peter?" Karen's smooth voice came, "I can answer the call for you."

"No it's fine, answer it," he sighed again.

A clear hologram formed in front of him, and the students+Ms. McLean stopped breathing for a second. Tony goddamn Stark and Barack freaking Obama (Trump doesn't exist here) were peering at the phone.

"Hey Mr. Stark, Mr. President," Peter said, biting his lip to stop laughing at Flash's face. MJ was drawing him in her crisis notebook.

"Peter," Mr. Obama exclaimed, "Listen, you need to solve our argument. Also, I thought it was Uncle President?"

"Is it, like, important Uncle President? Because my phone is on speaker so do NOT spill national secrets right now."

"It's important," Tony interrupted, "But not a national secret, so we can continue, right Miss Teacher?"

"Sure," Ms. McLean sighed as if already used to weird things happening.

"Okay, Peter, you have to be completely honest," the class leaned forward curiously, "Who is your favorite, me or Stark?"

.

.

.

"The hell," Betty whispered. Ned burst out laughing beside her.

"Stark or me," Peter corrected, "And I am not answering that."

"You have to," Tony said, slamming his hand on the table, "Because Barack is under the impression that he is your favorite, he's just an uncle! I'm your dad!!" You could practically hear the exclamation marks in his voice.

"Mr. Stank 🅱lease," Peter said, looking like he was either about to cry or throw away his phone, "Stop it."

"Nope, you have to tell this man that I am your favorite," Mr. Obama said, "I got you a Graff Diamonds Hallucination Watch for your birthday."

"He has a Graff Diamonds Hallucination watch?" Flash asked with wide eyes, "That thing costs like 55 million dollars! (let's pretend Obama is paid brilliantly like the absolute icon he is)."

"That's nothing," Tony exclaimed, waving his arms around, "I got him a Boeing BBJ 777-8 and an Airbus ACJ320neo."

"Parker has two private jets?" Brad asked. Ned nodded and burst out laughing at everyone's faces again. Peter looked at him in betrayal and MJ started another drawing of him.

"Guys," Peter cut off their argument, "I'm in class and you're giving everyone aneurism."

"You still haven't told us who your favorite is," Tony whined.

"Uncle Steve and Uncle Buck are my favorites," Peter said firmly.

"..."

"THOSE FOSSILS-"

"WHY THE FLUFF-"

"PETER THIS IS BETRAYAL-"

Peter cut the call and dropped his phone in his bag.

"Let's continue the lesson," he said with a dead voice.

"Okay..." Ms. McLean trailed off and continued. The class was in shock.

Fifteen minutes later.

"Can anyone else hear that?" Cindy asked, snapping out of her shock.

"Oh no no no no no," Peter muttered, hiding his face in his hands.

A helicopter. A HELICOPTER landed outside in the courtyard and Tony Stark climbed out of it, followed by Barack Obama.

.

.

.

"Okay," Tony said, swaggering in the classroom, "We're taking Peter away, thank you bye."

Mr. Obama picked up Peter's bag and Tony picked up Peter, who just let himself be picked limply. 

Ned burst out laughing again at the expression on his best friend's face. MJ was drawing again.

"Good day," Mr. Obama said, and they strutted out, Peter still looking completely done with life.

"What-," Abe cleared his throat, "What just happened?"

"I have no clue," Sally said, "I need some Advil."

"Give some to me too," Ms. McLean said, collapsing in her chair.