Gold, love and mint tea (Yuzuru Hanyu )

20 - Striving for more

Helsinki (Finland) - March 28th 2017

The meal pack had arrived, hot and aromatic. I always enjoyed food and especially on planes because it all felt like part of the adventure, of the ritual of going someplace else, new or different. I seemed to be spending a lot of time in airplanes nowadays. After the Grand Prix Final I went to Ukraine and won my first senior national championship, spent Christmas with my grand parents and - unfortunately- my mother before flying to Miami to spend New Years with my dad and Nick.

On December third I was on a plane back to Munich to train for the European championships. I had to step up my game if I wanted to finally beat Zhenya, which is not going to be an easy task but I had a few conversations with Misha and Sveta about it and we agreed that the way to go about it was to improve my component score. That meant that we had to put in more transitions into my programs and I had to take some tango lessons to put on the performance of my life.

That's precisely what I did.

Except that it still wasn't enough. Despite all my efforts I still came in second but I was getting closer. I got 79,12 points for my short program, beating Zhenya by a few decimals, just shy of beating her world record. In the free skate she only beat me by one point since she made some mistakes and I wasn't sure if that minuscule gap made me despise my silver medal or just more determined to win next time. And this was the next time.

"Darianka! Get off your butt and do it again!" Misha's stern voice brings me back to reality so I get up from the ice, huffing in the process.

"I've struggled with the loop for two years now and you want me to put it in combination with the lutz, another jump I struggle with! Don't you think it's time to think of alternative option such as, I don't know, trying to get my triple axel back!? Oh wait! It's too late now." I protest, getting increasingly more frustrated with every fall.

"I already told you that we are not working on that until this summer! And let your upper body rotate on that loop, you would land it if you did as I say!" he shouts, stopping any further discussion with a wave of his hand.

I roll my eyes, kicking the ice with my toe pick in anger and earning another warning from Misha. I glide across the rink lazily, doing the footwork going into the triple lutz triple loop combination and landing the jump. The landing was a bit shaky but I knew that it was because I didn't put my full energy into it and as much as I hated to admit it, Misha was right.

"Alright, good job! I-"

"If you're about to say 'I told you so' I am probably going to insult you!" I interrupt him furiously, sliding to a halt in front of him.

"No I was about to say, I think that's progress so do it again!" he finishes his sentence, gliding towards me and putting an arm on my shoulder with a grin before adding "Oh don't pretend to be mad at me, you know you need to be pushed sometimes! We did successful program run throughs with it this week."

"I don't know what you're talking about..." I hiss, pretending to still be pissed but the grin that crept up my face betrayed me "But I still don't always land it consistently!"

"Wasn't it you who said that sometimes you have to take risks?"

"Well yes bu-"

"Trust me. This is a well calculated one, you just have to believe in yourself more!" he assures me, giving my shoulder a squeeze before focusing his attention on Christina.

~

"So what are we doing tonight?" Chris asked enthusiastically as we were walking back to the hotel from the last official practice, trailing our suitcases behind us.