45 - Stress relief

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"Alright that's enough!" I hear Brian shout from the boards as I bite the ice for what felt like the one hundredth time during Monday evening practice. Or maybe it was the hundredth time, who knows at this point?

"No, come on! A few more tries!" I plead, brushing the snow away from my trousers "Please?!"

"No, not happening Darianka..." he shakes his head, waiting until I skid to a stop in front of him to continue talking "I don't want to be the one to explain to Misha why his star athlete has a serious injury right before the start of the Olympic season."

"Look, I came here for two reasons: to get a new short program and to get my triple axel back." I say, attempting to sound firm and affirmative "I could have gotten a new short program back in Munich so there's only one reason left. The triple axel. And I was told that you and Ghislain were the guys to see for that so-"

"I'm sure Misha is perfectly capable of teaching you how to-"

"He is, except he claims that he wants me to get some Canadian skating skill basics first which will supposedly really help me." I blurt out, fuming with frustration "Except that really he probably just thinks I can't do it anymore!"

"Oh Darianka..." Brian says with pity evident in his eyes, the one look I cannot stand to be on the receiving end off "I can guarantee you that it's not that... He believes in you, you know that!"

"Well I thought I did but-"

"He just knows that you don't need it to win, that's why he's reluctant to risk everything on one jump before the Olympics..." Brian explain, patting my shoulder reassuringly "And we talked about it, he knows you're more than capable of doing that jump but he just thought it would be nice for you to get a change of pace. He thought you were in a rut back in Germany and that a new environment might help you..."

"Really?"

"Yes, really!"

"Can I go again then?!" I ask, looking at him with wide, hopeful, puppy dog eyes.

"No, that's still enough for today!" he laughs, ruffling my hair playfully and gliding away, oblivious to the alarmed expression on my face.

~

I let out something between a grunt and a growl when I yeet my left boot of my foot and into my suitcase and bury my hands into my hair as it lands with a dull thud. I try to take a calming deep breath in. And out. But it doesn't seem to do anything really. I guess it's a good thing that I had a meeting with the TCC's mental coach right after practice, something that Misha had mentioned he wanted to implement from everyone back in Munich.

I, of course, have my therapist back in Germany that I usually see on a regular basis but mental coaching is a bit different so it might be a good idea to incorporate it into my training schedule. Particularly because the Olympics are coming up and as far as I'm concerned there's no such a thing as being too prepared.

"Bloody hell, what did your skates do to you on this fine Monday afternoon?" Chris quips from the other side of the bench, looking at me with a mix of concern and amusement on her face.

"Nothing."

"Oh, someone's moody..." she snorts, making a point of starring at me shamelessly as I change out of my leggings and into sweatpants "Why so tense? Was the sex no good yesterday?"

"For it to be no good, it would have needed to happen in the first place." I reply plainly, rolling my eyes at her. Or maybe just in her general direction.

"Didn't you sleep over at Yuzuru's?"

"Yeah, I did. Doesn't mean we had sex."

"Hmm well you should..." she smirks, wiggling her eyebrows at me "It'll do wonders for your stress..."

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