Gold, love and mint tea (Yuzuru Hanyu )

54 - Unnatainable

AN: okay before we start the chapter, as usual I highly recommend reading the program bit while listening to the song linked above! enjoy :)

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I let out a deep sigh when I finally hear Yuzuru's telltale knock on my door, later than I anticipated but not unexpected. I get out of bed, stifling a yawn, carefully and quietly making my way to the door, still unsure of what I should be doing in this situation but determined to stand my ground nonetheless. I lean my forehead against the door, trying to focus on something- anything, really.

I have two choices. The first one is to open the door which will inevitably lead to him spending the night and me spending the next day chastising myself for it, not to mention a very unhappy Misha, who would undoubtedly once again point out my lack of concentration. The other option would be to tell Yuzuru, as nicely as possible of course, to get the hell out of here and let me focus instead of distraction me with... his presence. That and the humongous elephant in the room, aka his big fat Olympic Gold medal which was not something I feel equipped to handle.

What does one even say to a two time Olympic champion? And most importantly how does one not feel out of their depth when interacting with such a person? I mean realistically I know he's still just Yuzu, my- no not mine but still simply Yuzu but at the same time his achievements just became that much more impressive, worthy of being worshipped and how could anyone ever measure up to him? You can't even catch up to someone like him, someone who's just miles ahead of where everyone else is.

I snap out of my heated debate with myself when I realize that the knocking has stopped, replaced by sounds of heavy breathing on the other side of the door. I press a hand on my chest, trying to take deep breaths in and out to calm my racing heartbeat. I take one last deep breath in before pushing myself of the door, but still keeping my head hovering near it in hopes of hearing whatever is going on outside.

"Darianka?"

"Hey Yuzu..." I grimace at the sound of my own voice, shaky and unsteady "Uh... Can you pleas- I can't let you in tonight... Oh crap, I should probably congratulate you first but I would really like to do that in person and when I can actually- I'm sorry..."

"A-are you okay?" he asks, his voice filled with concern and confusion "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just need to focus these next few days..." I explain, pressing my ear to the door to hear better "I don't- can't be distracted okay?"

"I know..." he sighs and I hear a soft thud on the door, imagining that he just let his forehead drop against it "I just wanted to talk to you quickly-"

"Not today, please?" I plead, hoping that he understood how important this is to me, knowing full well that if he keeps pushing I will eventually give in.

"Okay okay!" his tone is snappy now, irritated, most likely despite his better judgment "I just... Good luck tomorrow Darianka..."

"Thank you..." my voice is barely above a whisper but somehow I think he heard me because I sense that he started walking away "Yuzu?!"

"Yeah?" he stops, coming back over to the door.

"Congrats on the uh... You won..."

"I did..."

"I'm proud of you, no one deserves this more than you do." I blurt out before realizing how stupid that sounds and stepping away from the door, my eyes widened in horror. Who the hell I am to be proud of him? That's something mothers or coaches can say, it doesn't mean anything coming from me, I should have just said congratulations or that I'm happy for him or... Something... Thankfully the exhaustion takes over as soon as my head hits the pillow, whisking me away into a dreamless sleep which is interrupted way too soon by an obnoxiously loud alarm clock.