For You | Eren x Reader

Chapter 32- Worthless:

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️- depression

    I woke up feeling Eren's arms wrapped tightly around my waist, tying me down to the bed. His soft breath fanned across my cheek, warm jawline pressing against my shoulder. I was still wearing my dress from last night, which was stained with blood and crinkled from all ends. Jesus...

    I sighed, brushing the discomforting thought aside for awhile to enjoy the moment with Eren. The sun streamed through the curtains unevenly— judging by the light, it was probably mid-afternoon. I yawned, pushing my arms out from underneath Eren's grip to stretch.

    "Howdy," he mumbled into my ear.

    "Good afternoon," I replied, turning onto my other side to face him. "How are you feeling?"

    "Tired. Hungry. You know," Eren said, pressing his face into my chest. "But, I don't want to get up."

    I brushed my fingers through his hair and wrapped my free arm around him. "Yeah... I know."

    After an extra half-hour of lying in bed doing nothing, the two of us finally gathered the strength to go downstairs and eat the complimentary breakfast— though most of the food was probably either already devoured or cold by now.

    When I stood up, Eren noticed the state of my outfit.

    "Uh... Let me see if I have something for that," he said, turning away to look through his small suitcase. He pulled something out. "Will this do?" Eren looked back at me, holding up his infamous navy jacket— the one he used to wear constantly— with an unconvincing smile.

    I nodded, taking it from his fingers and zipping it over my dress. It was a bit loose, but soft and comfortable despite the obvious wear and tear.

    "Good enough," I said.

    Eren unlocked the hotel door and we walked downstairs for a coffee. When we filled our plates with what little food remaining and found an empty booth, the two of us began eating in silence, finally earning a moment to reflect on what had happened yesterday night. I chewed on my cold waffle, debating on when I should ask about everything and how I should phrase it.

    "I suppose I owe you an explanation," Eren said suddenly, green eyes rising to meet mine.

    Oh. That makes my life easier.

    "That would be nice," I responded shortly.

    Eren pursed his lips, as if unsure of where to start. "Alright... Well... Hm..."

    "If it's too difficult," I started, "We can—"

    "No, no," Eren cut me off. "After all of this, I think you have a right to know." Eren slipped his ring off and began spinning it around the table absentmindedly. "Okay," he restarted, "So, as you noticed, because you are apparently very perceptive, for awhile, I had stopped... well, you know..."

    I nodded, knowing that Eren was referencing how, for a moment, the scars on his wrists had been given time to heal.

    "Well," he continued, "I have my reasons for that— which we're not going to get into— but, even despite those reasons, I was still this close to pushing myself over the edge again," Eren pinched his fingers close together as an example. "The only thing stopping me was the reminder that I might get caught— probably by you— and sent back to a psych ward. So, basically, that's why I stopped for awhile."

    I stayed silent, wanting to give Eren the chance to speak. Honestly, Eren, I replied in my head, Any reason is a good one.

    "Now, no one cares about that," he rolled his eyes, "I'm sure you just want to know why I came back last night and decided to slit my wrists again, even though I told myself I wasn't going to before. But, do you really want to hear my sob-story? It's boring, it's long, and it's just like everybody else's."