I Won't Give Up (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Chapter 19

Day 6

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When you got Bucky back yesterday, you didn't expect to feel worse than you already did. He was back. You should be happy. However, guilt continued to eat away at you. A little voice lingered in the back of your head, continuing to blame yourself every chance it got.

After unstrapping Bucky from the table, you called Steve and Clint into the room to help you carry Bucky out of the room, all while you stayed a few paces behind. Bucky kept turning his head back to look at you, but you kept your eyes glued to the ground.

The only thing that made you feel better was the new passenger cuffed to a seat in the quinjet. Dr. List had managed to escape your grasp and make a run for the submarine she had waiting for her in the water, but Vision had been hovering in the air, just waiting for enemy movement.

Now, she was in CIA custody in the hands of one Everett Ross. He lit up like a kid on Christmas when you dropped her off. Hopefully, having her locked up meant a moment of peace for all of you.

The moment you arrived at the compound, Bucky was sent directly to Dr. Helen Cho. You had begged for them to let you use your powers to heal him, but Bucky ruled against you because nobody knew the extent of his internal damage. He spent hours in her lab healing and stayed overnight in case of any complications. No one was allowed in the room with him, per his request. Helen said that it was nothing personal, he just couldn't stand the pity looks.

It was noon when you woke up the next morning. You pushed yourself out of bed and made your way into the kitchen. Steve was sitting at the dining table, a steaming mug of black coffee sitting in front of him. You sat beside him and bounced your leg, anxiety taking over.

"Have you seen Bucky yet?" You asked.

Steve nodded his head and raised his mug to his lips. "Yeah, I have. He's been in his room for the past two hours."

Your heart sank into your stomach at the information. You couldn't blame him for not wanting to see you. It was your fault that he went through that shit in the first place.

You quickly excused yourself and heard Steve tell you to wait, but you ignored him. You raced back to your room and shut the door behind you, telling Friday to turn on your playlist. Music blared from the overhead speakers as you sat at the end of your bed.

Your leg bounced rapidly as you felt your heart rate increasing. The pessimistic side of your brain began to take over. This was it for you and Bucky, you could feel it. Bucky was never going to forgive you for this.

You don't deserve his forgiveness. If it wasn't for you, he would have never been captured. They were never after him, only you. He was used as a tool, just like in the past. That was all because of you.

"Friday, turn off the music," Bucky yelled from the doorway.

You froze in your spot, your eyes trained on the ground. Bucky shut the door behind him and stepped inside, crouching in front of you.

"What's wrong, doll? Steve said you were upset."

You let out a sad laugh and looked him in the eyes. The bags under his eyes were deep, his skin paler than normal. Your stomach turned, making you look down at his chest.

"How did the injuries heal?" You whispered.

Bucky sighed and lifted his shirt, letting you see the newly healed skin before pulling it back down and wrapping his hands around the back of your knees.

"You're ignoring the question," he scolded.

It pained you that he was being so caring after everything that he went through. You didn't deserve it. He shouldn't be worrying about you. He shouldn't be checking in on you. It should be the other way around.