𝐌𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚'𝐬 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 [𝐒𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐚; 𝐌𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚 𝐀𝐔]

|15| SHIRABU

3 months later

     "FUCKING EAT GODDAMMIT!" Athena shouts as she throws a tray of food all over the floor. "WHY WON'T YOU EAT?! IT'S BEEN THREE MONTHS! YOU CAN'T SIT HERE AND SULK YOUR LIFE AWAY BECAUSE OF SOME JACKASS! YOU BARELY EAT ANYTHING, AND NOW YOU'RE A FUCKING TWIG!" Athena raises her hands, still shouting while I tune her out.

     Three months. It's been exactly three months since he left. I've been downright miserable. I keep having nightmares, and my panic attacks have gotten worse. I've gone to the hospital 6 times in three months because of how severe the panic attacks have gotten.

     Not to mention I haven't been eating much. I think of it as... self-harm. Athena doesn't like it one bit, which is making her worry more than she has been lately. Sometimes when I wake up at night, I hear her talking on the phone with someone. Almost like she's constantly updating someone on my condition.

     When I questioned her about it, she shrugged it off and said that it was a friend. Sometimes I overthink and get my hopes up, which ends up with me crying and screaming myself to sleep.

     She keeps telling me that she's worried. Of course I believe her, because she's my best friend. Often she lays with me, which helps with the nightmares and panic attacks at night.

     I feel guilty even though she does help a little bit. She's not the one I want to hug me though. I want to be in Semi's arms again. I want to hear his deep Italian accent. I want his touch. I'm desperate for him to come back.

     Sometimes I find myself staring at the stars on her balcony. I find comfort in the stars, they are the only thing keeping me alive. The sparkling they do is just so fascinating. But I still wish he was with me.

     I feel like I mentally don't have much time left. My body is too weak to handle all this stress. I'm so fucking exhausted, I don't know what to do with my life anymore. All I do is cry, doubt, and think of ways that I could end all of my pain.

     "Shirabu Kenjirou. Are you listening to me?" Athena asks, shaking my shoulders a bit.

     "Huh? Uhhh, yes."

     "Then what was I saying?"

     Uh oh.. "..Fine you got me. I just zoned out." I say, looking up at Athena. She raises a brow, a concerned one.

     "Again? That's the 8th time this week." She sits down next to me on her white couch and examines my face. What the hell is she getting at. Is she seriously thinking I'm on drugs? The audacity.

     "And? What's the big deal? I feel calm, relaxed, and tired when I zone out." Looking away, my eyes land on her phone. It's screen brightening from a notification. Not just any notification, a message.

     Hmm..

     "..I'm just worried, Kenji. Your body is slowly deteriorating from not eating. You're basically skin and bone now. Y-You're giving up.. And it's scary. The nightmares are getting worse. The panic attacks are getting worse every single night. You have the same nightmare over and over and over again." She says worriedly. Her eyes started to gloss over.

     "I've already given up. 3 months ago I gave up. 3 months ago when he walked out of the hospital room, not sparing me a second glance. Do you have any idea.. How difficult life is when the person you love is not with you? It's torture."

     I pause, looking into my lap before tossing my head back. Tears running down my face as Semi's face appears in my mind. "I want to die, Athena. Being abused was one thing, but falling in love with someone like Semi in just a short amount of time.. It seemed impossible, but it still happened. I don't go a day.. Without thinking about him. And it's absolutely hell."

     "I-"

     "Shh.. I'm not done. He was rude, self-centered, and overall just a brute when we first met. But somehow.. He started to become soft around me." Pausing again, I look her in the eye. "We're not counting what happened to me years ago as losing my virginity. So, I lost my real virginity to him."

     Athena's jaw drops but she quickly picks it up and tries not to squeal. Oh my lord, this woman is hopeless. "Anyways.. Yeah. It's.. P-Painful. I miss him so much. He's probably living life to the fullest without me around."

     She pulls me into her and rubs my back. "Noo.. I promise you, that's not the case. But I do have a surprise for you." She says softly, grabbing my attention. "Two of your friends from his gang are coming here to take you with them to Italy."

     My heart flutters for a second, making me smile a bit. "Wait.. does that mean I get to see him again?" I ask, sitting up. My mind going all over the place from the information I was just given.

     "Yes, and he has a surprise for you too. I'm not going to spoil much. So I suggest you start eating so you don't look like a twig." Athena pouts before smiling softly at me.

-

(2 weeks later)

     "I hate this." I mumble, looking up at Athena with a pout. "I want you to come with me."

     "I totally would go if I didn't have a fear of planes. We can facetime when you get there, so don't go thinking that we'll be apart literally. We have phones for a reason." She winks, sticking out her tongue before urging me out of her apartment. She closes and locks it before following downstairs to the parking lot.

     Once turning a corner at the bottom of the stairs, Kenma and Tendou come into view. I slap my hand over my mouth as tears fall from my eyes. The two laugh and rush over to me. "We missed you!" The two say in unison, making me laugh.

     "I- I thought I would never see you two again.." I say as we separate from the hug. The blonde and redhead look at each other before nodding.

     "We thought the same thing for a while. Semi kinda went awol for a bit there.." Tendou starts, sounding a bit sad before he perks back up. "But! He snapped out of his emotionless state around a month ago. Trust us, he never forgot about you. He still blames everything that happened, on himself. But anyway! You wanna ride with us to the airport, Athena?" The three of us look towards Athena, who shakes her head with a smile.

     "Nah, I'm good. Make sure he's passed out before getting on the plane. His motion sickness has gotten wayyyyy worse." I scowl at her before we say our goodbyes.

     "Here, you sit in the front and I will sit in the back." Kenma says, grabbing my bags and tossing them into the back seats. "No one bring up the fact that I was squealing on our way here..." He whispers before slowly leaning back in the back seat of a Toyota 4Runner.

     I hope you really didn't forget me.