The Kick Back

The Edge of Darkness

"What are you running from? I normally wouldn't ask so soon but I wanna know why you didn't wanna go home tonight." I asked her as curiosity burned inside of me. She was reluctant to tell me before we got back to the Edge and she still seemed a little reluctant.

She discovered me walking behind her while she walked home. She told me to go home but I didn't wanna leave her at that point. I knew something was bothering her and her tears had confirmed it. The decision for us to go back to Water's Edge was hers. And I was willing to keep her company for as long as she needed me to.

She wiped her tears away and then she looked laid her head on my shoulder once again. "I wanna tell you so much, but I don't know if you'd understand. I'm afraid..." she said, stopping herself before she said too much. I sighed, growing increasingly frustrated. It was obvious that she wanted to talk about whatever was going on at home, but she was stopping herself.

I figured that I would have to be the one to speak on my life first. It always got to me whenever I was forced to speak on my uncomfortable situation. But if that was what was gonna help her open up, then I was willing to do that.

"I know all about not wantin to go home. My Moms just drinks and drinks until she can barely do anything for herself. My sister is all over the place, she just stays out as late as she can to avoid her and avoid helping her. So everything is always left up to me. I'm the crutch." I confessed. She stared at me with tears in her eyes. We made eye contact and I felt like she understood, I was pretty sure that she could relate as well.

"How do you deal with everything, Antonio? How do you keep yourself sane through all of it?" she asked, sounding like she needed advice on how to keep her sanity.

"I just deal with it. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I'm sane." I said, chuckling as I finished my sentence. She held on to my arm tighter and more of my truth began to surface. "I do what I can and I try to help my Moms get better, but she's on that stuff so strong. I don't know what else could be done to make her go get some help." I said, fighting back tears, swallowing the lump in my throat. I didn't want her to be upset and I didn't want her pity. So i kept my tears to myself.

"All these years, I've just been dealing with it alone. Now I finally feel like I have someone I can call a friend to help me deal with it all." I confessed. She smiled at me. "Do you really only consider me a friend?" she asked. I shook my head. "No, but I didn't wanna feel like I was pressuring you into anything. We both know that being together would be risky. For some reason, I don't mind taking that risk. I feel like I should be there to protect you and make you happy. That's how I really feel." I told her as she gripped my arm tighter. I loved feeling like she needed me to be her knight in shining armor. In a sense, I needed her to be my source of protection from the crazy world that I lived in as well.

"I wanna take that jump with you. I'll protect you if you protect me." she told me, giving me a sense of relief and just a tad bit of fear. I had never felt that way about any other woman, and she was definitely making a home in my heart. "All I can tell you is to hold on tight." I warned her. The world as we knew it would change forever after our night at Water's Edge. I laid back and she laid back with me, resting her head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and held her as tight as I could. As I stared up at the sky, I mentally prepared myself for everything that I knew was coming for us. The fights, the frustration, the discrimination...everything. And each one of those things I was willing to go through just to be with this chick from the Eastside. She had left her mark...