The Kick Back

Michigan Bound

The time was coming for me to depart way with the bay area. Nothing good came out of living there. Too many people got caught up in the lime light, gang banging, or prostitution. My life was so much more than that. I didn't really fit in but at the same time I did. I was more than happy that I stood out most of the time. It helped save my life on a few different occasions. A lot of people lost their lives trying to be something that they weren't. Shit I even lost a few friends.

The main girl I considered to be my ride or die, my best friend, my sister turned enemy, Evette was viciously gunned down a month after our altercation. Evette hated me with every bone in her body. Whatever her issue was, we never got the chance to sit down like women and smooth things over. It was time to grow up from childish things and handle things like an adult.

I missed her like crazy. One fight didn't stop me from loving her. She had been there for me at my worst times, it just killed me that I never got the chance to say goodbye. My lesson was learned the hard way. From that point on whatever issues I had with someone, we would talk it out face to face. I didn't want to lose anyone else.

Antonio taught me a lot about letting go of toxic relationships. He knew what it was like to be used, abused, and thrown away. That timid girl who was afraid of losing people was no longer afraid. People came into my life and left just as fast as they had come. Luckily Antonio came back into the picture. Maria was no longer a factor when it came to us. We had re-built our friendship.

It felt good to laugh, smile, and share secrets all over again. Whenever I needed him to be there he was there. the sex was good and all, but his presence brought me peace. Finally we had a chance to really sit down and talk. The situation with Maria had been bothering me. Rumors about her were spreading like wild fire.

Truthfully I knew a lot more than I was saying. It wasn't my place for me to speak on a situation that had nothing to do with me. A few people from his side of town decided to run their mouths about Maria's business. They thought by telling me I would expose her for what she was doing, honestly I didn't care.

Maria was the last person on my mind. My only concern was Antonio. Hopefully whatever was coming his way he could handle it. Lord knows picking a broken man up isn't the easiest thing.

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Graduation was a few weeks away. My aunt had flown me in to Grand Rapids, Michigan. She wanted me to get a taste of the city before I moved down there. Surprisingly the city was nice. The people were much nicer and the city was so clean. Compared to the Bay, Grand Rapids was like a rich city. The schools were cleaner and the instructors actually cared about the students.

No one was segregated by color, gender, or ethnicity. Everyone blended in and got along like family. It was nice to see something that wasn't so common where I was from. If the high schools were that nice, the colleges had to be even better. I decided to take my chance at Michigan state. It was a well respected school and the social work program was number one in the country.

The time had really come for me to start making big decisions. My parents house was on the market and things were finally looking up for buyers. Antonio and I had repaired out friendship. On the inside I felt like a bitch for thinking about life outside of Antonio. We discussed being together long term, fighting for one another, always being there. He had moved on and it was time that I did the same.

Reality hadn't set in until I signed my papers for state, and spoke with my landlord on my new apartment. I would be living in the East Grand Rapids area and commuting to school. The drive wasn't long and in the winter time my aunt would drive me half, and I would take the shuttle the rest of the way.

Everything was falling into place, so why did I feel so wrong? Antonio had a family now. It was just me to make all the decisions. I wanted him to see something outside of the hood. He was supposed to be with me, or so I thought.

Aunt Shelia and discussed a few things before my visit was over. My plan ticket was purchased a day before I flew back in to Cali. Life was moving pretty quick and before I knew it I was purchasing my cap and gown, dress, and heels for the big day. Momma had finally come around and even daddy flew back into town for the big day.

It was my time to shine and I made sure that my light would shine. Every once of pain, hurt, depression, anger, bitterness, and all that madness would be left behind. It was about that time to step foot on that plane. My life would get better before it got worse.

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Word had gotten back to me that Maria had gone into labor. A part of me was happy that finally Antonio's piece to his puzzle would be complete, and the other half was jealous. Maria was now a mother and I was just the best friend that Antonio would screw from time to time.

Antonio called from the hospital to tell me the news, he even cried a little bit. He was now someone's dad. All he talked about was his son. Santiago Ramone Garcia born May 2, 1987. six pounds, five ounces. I was hurt by over joyed at the same time.

He deserved this moment with his child. Nothing is more important that a father bonding with his child. I just hope I can truly accept this...