The Kick Back

Knight Cry

Reality had set in that I was officially leaving Oakland in six days. The only place I had ever known would now be a memory. It was a bitter sweet taste. It was time to leave all the old baggage in California as I made my way to Michigan. Nervousness had set in as I thought about leaving my family behind to start a new life. Grand Rapids was so beautiful. The people were nice, the school systems were really good, and it the opportunities were endless. I was tired of putting my life on hold for others. It was time for me to put me first, and I had finally done that. My apartment was coming together well. Aunt Shelia and I had gone half on brand new furniture, and I had a car waiting on me. All of my hard work and grinding got me where I needed to be. Even though I was happy to be leaving California, I wasn't too happy about leaving Antonio behind.

Antonio had become such and important part of my life. Not only was he my best friend but he was my first love. I knew my departure would tear him up, and anyway I could soften that blow I did that. We spent my last few days in California together. We had become unseperable, two peas in a pod, thick as thiefs, we were in love all over again. The feeling that I felt at the kick back had come back around. I wasn't ready to leave him behind but I knew I had to. Antonio had become a family man. Maria was fresh out of the hospital and little Santiago needed his father. It would have been selfish to ask him to leave his family to be with me. I was willing to take a loss so little man could have his father. As bad as I needed him with me, his son needed him more.

Meeting little Santiago made my heart melt. I couldn't stand Maria's ass but for the sake of Antonio I stayed civil. Holding this little person made me think of the child I once had. His smiled reminded me of Antonio when he would be doubled over in laughter. His facial expressions were similar to Antonio's. Maybe the rumors of Maria cheating wasn't true. Everything Santiago did was exactly like Antonio. I was happy for him and his family. He seemed complete for the very first time. I was happy but sad at the same time. Maria had it all and I had nothing. It didn't matter much longer, I would be boarding a plane to Michigan in less than six days. A new life was about to start.

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Antonio had spent the last few nights crying himself to sleep. He was broken about my move to Michigan. "What if you fell in love with someone else? How come you can't stay here? Why did you do this to me? It's not fair Stephanie." My feelings were crushed. I hated that he would be left behind in California, but Antonio had a family to tend to. We had no ties and there really wasn't a reason to stay behind. So much shit happened over time that it was time for something new. Looking him in his face was a struggle. Smiling had become harder the more he cried.

"We will always be friends Antonio. I won't forget about you at all. We have history together and that's not something that I want to forget. We have developed a bond...a life time bond. Why would I forget that?", Antonio looked as if he wasn't sure about my words. Rubbing his back to console him made things worse. Antonio fell over in my lap and continued to sob. "You have a family now. Santiago needs you, baby. I hate that I have to leave you but someone needs you more. I can't be selfish with you. If I could you would be leaving with me." I confessed. I knew taking him with me would probably be the best thing for him. Antonio was too smart to stay behind. He had just as much opportunity in Grand Rapids as I did. Where I was at Antonio wasn't ready.

Although I was young I was ready for marriage. I was ready to come home to someone. Staying in an empty house became lonely. It was time for new heights and more than anything I wanted to discover those heights with Antonio...