The Kick Back

Breaking Acceptance

Breaking the news to Antonio's parents was one moment I wanted to avoid. The way Mrs. Garcia had looked at me I knew that she had lost some type of respect for me. Trying to explain that my intentions were not trap her son, had fallen on deaf ears. In her mind I was out to trap Antonio so that I could keep tabs on him, and in reality that was so far from the truth. I wasn't one to disrespect anyone's parents so I kept certain details to a minimum. Everything in me wanted to go off and set Mrs. Garcia straight, but truth is she had every right to be upset. This whole situation could have been avoided if I had gone about things the right way. Worst part about telling his parents was that we hadn't even told them about our son, and his condition.

Mrs. Garcia yelled "No haces eso a nosotros. Te equivocaste." Tears rolled down my face as the words pierced through me. Mrs. Garcia was right. Had I told Antonio beforehand the situation probably would have turned out to be completely different. In that moment I had finally broken. Everything that lead to this point was all on me. How can you be of child and walk away thinking he would follow? My mind was racing. Mr. and Mrs. Garcia had torn me a new hole, and truthfully I deserved everything they said to me. "¿Entonces, que pasa después, vas a levantarse y salir otra vez? Vamos a ver al bebé, dame un respuesta Stephanie? Eh." Shaking my head my emotions had run over. "Mrs. Garcia I'm so sorry. My intentions were to never trap your son. I would never do anything like that Antonio. I love him too much. Rage filled her eyes. "¡Mentiroso...el amor no te camina lejos. El amor no vuelva y espera para mierda!" As bad as I wanted to fight those words, I just couldn't. .

Antonio sat helplessly as his parents continued to yell and pace the floor. Embarrassment and shame showed in my face. I wasn't proud that I had gone about things the way that I did. I knew that there would be a consequence once I stepped foot back in the bay, and this was the day I had to answer for my actions.

Mr. Garcia took Antonio out back to have a private conversation with him, while Mrs. Garcia sat in the living room going off on me. "Listen Mrs. Garcia I won't walk away from this conversation like a coward. I deserve everything you and Mr. Garcia dishing out, but please, please hear me out." Wiping the tears from my face I turned towards Mrs. Garcia. "My intentions were to never hurt your family. I have way too much love for you guys. I love Antonio way more than a woman should love a man. I saved telling him about the baby..well..babies...", Mrs. Garcia's eyes grew wider as my words had sunk in. "I had a ticket for Antonio to come to Michigan so that we could go to school together. I had gotten him a job in the art department, which they were ready to offer him a teaching position. I was hoping that he would come so that we could be a family."

The look on Antonio's mother's face went from rage to as if she was understanding why I did things the way I did. The more we talked the more shit came out. Slowly I was reliving everything I had encountered before leaving Oakland. Fighting through tears I just wanted them to understand where I was coming from. After a few hours of explain the situation I got up to leave. Before walking out the door I turned to Mrs. Garcia, "Thank you for at least letting me explain things. I do understand where you stand and I respect it." Turning to walk out the door, Mrs. Garcia pulled me into her arms and hugged me. Lord knows I need something to soothe the pain. I need to cry and I need to cry hard. Falling into Mrs. Garcia's arms my body went numb, my legs went out as I fell to the floor crying.

Rocking back and forth Antonio's mother held me. "Baby everything will be alright. I promise. We are a family and we all will get through this." Those words were like a pillow to my heart. Everything that I had been holding on to had gone out the window. I was finally able to cry and get everything off my chest. My babies had suffered long enough. When I hurt they were hurting and Mrs. Garcia had given me the okay to let it out. It had been months since I had cried that hard. My heart was relieved, my mind was clear, and my babies had started being more active. It was in that moment that I promised to never let my children suffer like that again.

God does everything in perfect timing, and this was well needed...