The Kick Back

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The Stephanie I remembered was a broken girl from a broken home who lived on the wrong side of town. Now, she had changed and there was still chemistry between us. It was obvious that I had moved on. I had been kicking it with Maria, but just as friends. All she was was good company, even though people around me and people at school thought differently. Once word got around that we were kicking it, people felt like I was the man again. All I could think to myself was if they only knew the inner hell I had been going through to get to the point where I was actually content with my life.

Mike and Stephanie had grown a little closer since Mike and I had gotten into it that day. Every time I saw them together I wanted to walk up to him and rip his throat out. But I had history with this dude and history with this girl, so there was nothing that I could do to change anything. More importantly, they had history with each other and nothing I said or did would change their relationship anyway. After watching them together in the lunch room, I began to think that there was something else to the relationship. Maybe they both found a shoulder to lean on in each other and I was the common enemy. Or maybe, just maybe, they were exploring feelings that had been there all along. I couldn't let that consume me though. There were other things going on that I needed to be focused on.

That Saturday morning was like Christmas. My mother was coming home, clean and sober. Gabby and I feverishly cleaned the house just so it would be presentable for her when she walked through the door. I was excited to see the change in her and even more excited to hear about her experience and make plans for the future. Once we heard the horn honk, we rushed outside to meet her. When we got to the sidewalk, she stepped out of the van as the driver got her bags out of the back. She was beautiful, more beautiful than I had seen her looking in a very long time. Gabby couldn't control her emotions and immediately began crying. I swallowed that lump though, I was too happy to cry and end up giving her the wrong impression. I was happy she was home and even happier that she was healthy.

Her skin had changed, back to that beautiful bronze color. Her eyes were no longer bloodshot and yellowing, they were back to that beautiful mixture of green and hazel again. Her hair had grown, she had it curled and colored brown and blonde. And instead of the usual musty jeans and t-shirt she normally had on, she had a tan blouse and some white shorts on. My mother looked happy, and I was happy that she was happy.

"It's good to see you, Ma." I said, reaching out and pulling her into my arms. She kissed me on the cheek and held me as tight as I held her. "It's good to see you too, mi hijo. And Gabrielle...Me perdi mucho." She said, grabbing her into our embrace. I was happier than words can explain. My family was slowly but surely coming back together. Just as we separated from our three way hug and cry, I noticed someone else get out of the van. Surprisingly, it was my father. He smiled at me and Gabby. My smile quickly turned into a frown. What the fuck was he doing in the van with her?

"We have a lot to talk about. Let's go inside..." he said.

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I sat in the chair across from Maria's bed in her dorm room. She seemed shocked when she finally let what I had told her process. "So they're back together now and Gabby's okay with it, but you're not?" she asked me. "No. This dude wasn't around when we were comin up and when he was, he was too busy beatin on my mother to raise us. I have no respect that pieza de mierda." I said. Maria laughed out loud and then sat up in her bed. "Well...you have to learn to deal with it. Either that, or move out and I know you're not ready to do that because you're too concerned about Gabby being alone with the both of them. My advice to you is to just let it go and embrace your father being there. A lot of us don't have two parents in the home. You may have gotten it late in life but you have it. Can't you just work things out with him and be happy for your parents?" she asked. I shrugged my shoulders. My heart wouldn't let me love my father and my pride wouldn't allow me to be okay with the situation.

"I don't know." I said truthfully. I didn't know what else I could have said about that. She had a point though. I had to at least be happy for them. They had discovered love all over again, the same thing that I was secretly longed for. In a way, I envied the fact that they had gotten through their issues even after the issues had torn them apart years ago. All I could think about was the fact that things could have been worked out with Stephanie. But she was gone, long gone and she seemed happier without me.

"I'll tell you, you always have somewhere to sleep when you wanna get away." Maria said, she got up and walked over to me and reached out for a hug. I hugged her but when I did, I felt her slowly pulling back. She stared into my eyes and before I knew it, she kissed me. Not just any kiss, but a kiss that made my whole body weak, and then numb. Once she pulled away, she smiled. "I had to do something to take your mind off of everything. I don't wanna see you upset. I wanna see you happy, Antonio. That's what friends are for." she said, still standing just centimeters away from my face. "Friends, huh?" I asked her and she nodded in agreement. "Friends don't kiss each other like that." I told her. She smiled and stepped away. "I know but it got your mind off of everything didn't it?" she asked. I sat back and thought about it. For a moment it did and I had to laugh. "That's crazy." I replied. I knew it was wrong, but kissing Maria felt right and it had taken my mind off of everything. It had comforted me for just a moment and I loved that feeling.

"What else could you do to take my mind off of things?"...

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I caught the bus home later on that day. Thoughts of Stephanie and Mike plagued my mind. Maria had been doing a good job of distracting me but whenever I left her side, I was forced to deal with the fact that Stephanie was not leaving my mind any time soon. And the thought of her being with another man, even Mike, was driving me insane.

I got off at my stop and started walking to the house. Not too soon after I got off, Mike walked up to me. "What's up? Can we talk?" he asked. I wasn't really interested but decided to entertain the conversation anyway. "Look, I know what it looked like with me and Stephanie but it's nothin like that. I wouldn't cross that line with her or do you like that. I'm just happy to see her happy..." he said, but I abruptly cut him off. "What's your point, man? I'm tryin to get home and I really don't wanna talk about this shit with you right now." I told him. He nodded. "I understand that. But ain't nothin goin on. She still loves you! So I hope you don't have some crazy idea that I'm fuckin her because I'm not!" he yelled. "I gotta go. Take it easy." I replied. Some things don't even need a response and to me, the statements that he made were some of those things. I kept walking, making my way towards the house leaving him behind in the dark. What was once a tight bond and a strong friendship was nothing to me at that point in time. There was now a rift between us and the bond we had before was breaking....