The Kick Back

Disappearing Acts

Needless to say, I wasn't excited about my father making a reappearance after a stint in prison. We all make mistakes and that wasn't why I had a problem with him. My problem was with the fact that even after his release, he chose not to be involved in me and Gabby's life. I always figured that maybe if he had been present, he would've been able to help my mother get her life together. Maybe my younger siblings wouldn't have been in the system and maybe things would have been normal around the house.

I couldn't dwell on the what if's forever though. I was making it and had been through the most important trials of my youth without help from my so-called father. Anything I learned about being a man, I learned from experience. Anything I learned about women...well...I learned that from experience too. I didn't feel like I needed him but it would've been nice for him to be around.

I walked into the house and he was sitting with Gabby like everything was cool. Gabby was asleep and he was sitting next to her, staring at her as she slept. As soon as he heard the door close, he looked up. He smiled at me and stood up slowly.

"Hey boy, how you doin?" He asked. I kept my distance and stood against the wall near the door. "I'm alright." I replied. My tone remained cold. He didn't deserve a place in my heart in my eyes and if I had anything to do with it, he would never have that. "That's good. I see you been holdin' it down while your old man was gone." He said, still flashing that stupid ass smile of his.

"Yeah everything is good around here no thanks to you though. I been doin what I can to take care of both of them. I don't need any praise from you." I said, making my way towards my bedroom. Foolishly, he followed behind me. I was prepared to tear him a new asshole, and I wouldn't have even had to touch him. I had a lot to say and I was certain that he wouldn't like any of it.

"So you just gonna walk around like a bitch and have an attitude with me like you got your period? Like that fixes anything that we been through." he snapped. I plopped down on my bed and laughed at him. "Exactly what the fuck have we been through together? You ain't been through shit with me or Gabby, or my mother. You been gone. You been doin what a coward does." I retorted. I could tell he was getting pissed off but I didn't care. He forced us to go through everything we had been through in his absence, just by not being present and protecting us like a father or a husband should have.

"I'm not trying to excuse nothin I did. I was young and stupid and truthfully, I didn't care about shit. Not even you guys. But that was the past. I'm here to make things right again." he plead. I sucked my teeth and stood up, trying my hardest not to punch his ass. "Look, man...don't give me that shit. You had damn near 17 years to be a father and you wanna choose to come around when I'm a grown ass man. I been the one takin care of this damn house, takin care my drunk ass Moms! And let's not even talk about what your daughter been doin! I been dealin with that!" I shouted. I expected him to have to some smart ass comeback, but all he did was sit down on the edge of my desk and listen to me vent.

"What do you want me to say to you, son?" he asked me. I quickly responded with, "I don't want shit from you. What I really want you to do is leave and not come back this way. We been doin alright without you and we gone continue to be alright without you bein here. You aren't needed here, all you are is another motherfucker I gotta worry about taking care of. Because God knows you don't work, you ain't willin to work and all your sorry ass is gonna do is take up space." I said, shattering any type of hope he had for rebuilding a relationship with me. He sighed, almost like he wanted to plead with me some more but I didn't wanna hear shit that he had to say.

"Listen..." he started, I interrupted him before he could go any further. "Get the fuck out of my house, man." I told him. He stared at me for about a minute like he was expecting me to change my mind. But I never did. I wanted him gone and he was gonna leave whether he left on his own or if I had to throw his ass out on the streets. Luckily for him, he got up and left. He was good at that. I admit I was a little hard on him and I didn't give him a chance to say much but I wasn't ready to forgive him. Hell, I had enough on my plate without him popping back up expecting us to be a family again. That shit just wasn't gonna happen.

I met up with Mike and the fellas after I got a few hours of sleep in. Once again, it looked like we would be kickin it on the porch at Alonzo's place. Usually I wouldn't mind, but the same old thing was starting to bore me to death. All I could think about was the next time I would meet up with Stephanie. All I wanted was to be with her and I was willing to risk losing out on quality time with my friends to do that.

"Yo Ant? Whose the girl you've been hangin out with. Why haven't we had the pleasure of meeting her yet?" Mike asked. I had been successfully keeping my relationship with Stephanie a secret. I knew it wouldn't be long before my boys got curious and wanted to know who she was. I already knew that I would have to lie and omit a few details to avoid any type of confrontation. I wasn't prepared for that yet.

"All you need to know is that I really like this girl and I don't want y'all fools messin anything up." I said, while all of them gave me the eye. The eye that said, "if you don't tell us, we'll find out eventually." That was something that I was afraid of. Lying about a chick was one thing but lying about messin with one from the east side was a whole different ball game. I already knew the consequences of that and I didn't even wanna think about them.

"Anyway, on a more important note. That guy Vince is comin after you hard. You better focus your attention on not running into him and off of some broad. When he comes at you, it's gonna be when he thinks you're off your game. And right now, you're off your game, hombre." Alonzo said while all of the other guys agreed. "Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself. Shit ain't got a thing to do with my girl." I replied. They all shook their heads. "Whoever this girl is she must be special. She's got your head in the clouds. I'm just hopin you can come down long enough to protect yourself when it's time." Mike warned.

I didn't really care about what they were saying, at the same time I understood where they were coming from. I was falling for Stephanie and that was a good thing. But I did need to go back to my roots and focus a little more on watching my back. I knew she wasn't going anywhere and that I had her. But if I wanted to make sure she had me, I had to protect myself by any means...