Right Here | SunNew / Sunric

「21」

★Kim Sunwoo★

Sunwoo needed to think. A lot.

He just made a pretty big discovery, and even though he's been sitting on this thought for a while it still felt so sudden.

So Sunwoo called up an old companion. He didn't know who else to talk to. He told him to meet at their old spot, which was an old stone bridge by the lake. It overlooked the city and it was beautiful at night. He hadn't actually been here in a long time.

"Feeling nostalgic?"

Sunwoo was sitting on the ledge of the bridge as he turned his head back to see his old friend with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Something like that. Thanks for coming." Sunwoo smiled.

"I'm surprised you called. I haven't heard from you since you switched schools." He said, sitting next to Sunwoo on the ledge.

"I know. I'm sorry, Changmin."

"Don't apologize. I'm glad you reached out, you were once like a little brother to me. I'd come if I was halfway across the world." Changmin said. "So why exactly did you call me?"

Sunwoo sighed and buried his hands in his sweater between his knees.

"You we're always good at telling me what to do. I need that right now." Sunwoo chuckled sadly.

"Why?" Changmin asked.

"You remember Chanhee right? I told you I had feelings for him." Sunwoo started, Changmin nodded in response. "Well recently I made a new friend. We have a lot in common, from the very beginning we just clicked. I even work at his dads antique shop now."

"Where is this going?"

"I love him." Sunwoo confessed. "At first I didn't want to believe it. We were getting so close, and Chanhee picked a fight with me about it. I think I got defensive because somehow I knew he was right."

"I realized this just yesterday. And I don't know what to do." Sunwoo said quietly.

"I can't tell you what to do here, Nu." Changmin spoke up.

Sunwoo smiled slightly at the old nickname.

Changmin was Sunwoo's tutor back in middle school. Changmin was in high school then just about to graduate. He and Sunwoo got pretty close, he even made a nickname for him. Nu. First it was Nunu, but eventually it was shortened to Nu.

"Then at least give me advice. What am I supposed to do? I still have feelings for Chanhee. But I also have feelings for Eric."

"Eric? Is that his name?" Changmin asked.

Sunwoo nodded.

"His real name is Youngjae, but he likes for me to call him Eric."

"Tell me, what is the difference between the feelings you have for Chanhee and the feelings you have for Eric?"

"Where do I begin." Sunwoo laughed bitterly. "With Eric, it's like I become a whole new person with him. He sees right through me and he sees the kind of person I can become, and I like the version of me that he sees. I want to be worth his time and effort. He has a hard home life and I want to make it all better for him, but I know that I can't and I guess that's the hardest part. Not being able to make it better."

"You never talked about Chanhee like this. Wanting to be the person he sees." Changmin commented.

"With Chanhee, it's always been about keeping him safe. He's very insensitive to the kind of trouble he gets himself into, all I've ever wanted was to protect him. To see him happy, even if it wasn't with me."

"Why are you talking in the past tense?"

Sunwoo pursed his lips.

"I cut him off."

"Why?"

"He took me and my feelings for him for granted. I almost got myself suspended for him, but all he said about that was that he never asked me to. I've been his crash pad for years, he's never thanked me. He never even showed that he appreciated me for it. It just felt like he was using me as a shield because he knew I'd take the fall."

Changmin listened very intently. He's always been good at listening, even when he was bored out of his mind he paid attention to every word.

"Sunwoo your mistake was giving your everything to Chanhee without leaving any pieces of yourself to keep. I think you feel like Eric is giving you those pieces back. You like the version of yourself that he sees because that's the person you've always been. That's who you really are but you were always too busy giving it to Chanhee. You didn't realize that you'd lost yourself to Chanhee until Eric helped you find yourself again. People like that don't grow on trees."

Sunwoo thought about that as Changmin spoke.

And my god, he was so right.

"So what do you think I should do?" Sunwoo asked.

"I think, if you feel like the time is right and your absolutely ready for any outcome, you should tell him how you feel.
Your first mistake with Chanhee was waiting too long to come to terms with your feelings. You shouldn't let Eric slip through your fingers while you're still early." Changmin suggested.

"That's a lot easier said than done." Sunwoo laughed lightly.

"I didn't say it was going to be easy. I just think you shouldn't wait too long or you might regret it." Changmin shrugged.

Sunwoo smiled at Changmin.

"Thanks. You were always a lot wiser than me, it seems like you have your life very well put together."

Changmin shook his head.

"Trust me I'm a lot better at dealing with other peoples problems than I am at dealing with my own."

🧸  🧸  🧸

Hey, besties!😌☝️

Changmin is literally me.

Anyway, so I just wanted to update because it's my birthday!🥳🥳🥳My friends and family all wished me a happy birthday and I'm happy people actually remember me😭💀

ANYWAY, I Hope You enjoyed this chapter! I'll see you in the next one!

Bye!

-Kiara♡