don't leave (l.h)

fifth day.

"Mom?" I asked hesitantly.

In the kitchen a woman with dirty blonde hair stood. Her back was turned to me but I could tell it was my mom. I had just awoken by a loud noise from downstairs. And I think I know where it come from now.

She didn't turn around, but she answered me.

"Hope. I didn't mean to wake you up." she said, her voice sounded different from when I last talked to her. Or maybe I was not used to it.

"What are you doing here?"

She turned around, a few papers in her hands. "Paying the bills." she said.

I shook my head, she looked awful. She had big bags under her eyes and her eyes were red. She looked so broken. I almost felt bad for her.

"Aren't you staying?" my voice almost breaking. I wanted her to stay, so I was scared for her answer. I was still mad at her only that she was my mom, and I love her. Even how much I hate her I will always love her and I will always need her.

"I can't." she said shortly.

"Why not?" I walked closer to her, my steps heavy but careful. Like I had a heavy burden on my shoulders that pushed me down and if I walked fast I will drop it and it will break.

She just shook her head, not responding. Why was it so hard for her to stay? I wanted her here why couldn't she see that?

"Mom?"

I stood right in front of her now, her face was lowered to the ground so I couldn't meet her eyes. "Mom, I'm sorry."

"I have to go." she said, and stalked past me. For a mere second I thought he was going to hug me but she didn't.

"What have I done?" I yelled at her. "I'm only here mom, why can't you see that I need you?"

"Because I don't need you!" she shouted back, the words coming out so easily. "Not right now. I'm a mess. I'm a mess and I don't need you. I can't take care of you right now! I have to become better and then we'll see."

"We'll see?" I questioned, my hands thrown in front of me. "What will we see? If you want me?"

"Of course I want you baby-"

"Don't- don't call me that. Not if you're leaving me again."

She sighed, obviously tired. And then she just turned around and walked out from the house, not even saying good bye, or see you later. I felt my stomach cringe and I ran after her. I ran after her outside but I saw people. And I thought that letting her go would be easier than craving for her to stay and then have all these people witness while she walks away.

Maybe she was just over me. Pretended that if I don't exist I am no burden. She said she was a mess. But so am I. And she said she doesn't need me, neither do I. I don't need myself. But I need her, and we can help each other. But she didn't seem to rethink that thought, she didn't think about me at all.

A few tears fell down my cheeks and I dried them. I thought that her not wanting me was the worst thing but her not needing me is even worse. I had no influence in her life anymore. She was a mess and all I could do was to make it worse for her.

I was no good.

a/n

hope is getting annoying sorry

sorry for making hope annoying

luv u :))