don't leave (l.h)

13.

Lukes' Pov

(Before)

I shut the door in her face, not leaving a look at her. I stared blank into my living room, but I couldn't see anything. The tears were making my sight blurry and soon I fell down to the ground. I leaned my back against the wall, I wanted to hit something but I knew she'd here me and probably understand I wanted her back. Which I did. I wanted her back so much. After she told me all that shit I started to think again. I thought that she hurt me because she accused me of lying. Now I realize that it probably wasn't because of that. I'm avoiding her for my own good. I think I like her... More than just a friend. I knew I had these feelings coming and going, sometimes I could look more at her than Sarah, but looking away every time she looked at me. But it all must have started in her bed, when she sang. Her voice was soft, not too high or too dark. It was perfect, light and easy, but it sounded so good. I never heard her sing before but the way she said the words, with the calm and like she had empathy for them. I must be crazy thinking this but God, she's beautiful.

I pulled my knees to my legs, buried my face in my hands and cried out. I cried so much, the tears were just welling out from my eyes like a stream and in this moment I couldn't do anything else but hope she'd knock on the door and ask again.

After the tears had stopped I dried my cheeks and took out my phone from my pocket. I texted Calum: Dude could what should I do?

He responded just a minute after: You didn't forgive her right

Me: Yeah... I think that I messed up

Him: You wanna talk?

Calum came to my house only fifteen minutes later, he was only dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie.

"I rushed, what about it?" he asked as he stepped in. I didn't say anything until we both sat comfortably in my couch. I looked around in the new house, not really used to it.

"I fucked up." I said, "The thing is she came here to apologize and I told her to go."

He nodded his head slightly, his mouth just a tiny straight line. I didn't literally tell her to leave, but that was kind of my message.

"Okay, I mean. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know what this is about but if you really fucked up so much why don't you just go back and say that you thought things through and-" I cut him off.

"I like her." I told him, straight out. I knew I could trust Calum but the words felt heavy anyway.

"I know, she's your best friend."

"No I mean, I like her." I said, putting empathy on the word.

His eyes grew a little wider, something he couldn't help. He'd done the same when I told him about Sarah.

"What about Sarah?" he asked then.

I shrugged, "I'm not really over her yet, I'm not even sure about Hope." I told him, my voice raising a little in frustration from my own cluelessness.

"Hold on, man. Easy. You mean you're not sure at all." he asked.

I nodded and started biting at my lip ring. "All I knew is that I felt different that day when we laid in her bed and she sang and I-"

"You laid in her bed?" he asked, straight out.

"Yeah, we had clothes on." I assured him, "And we were not under covers."

"Okay. Or things could have gotten really complicated. Are you sure-"

"Yes I didn't sleep with her!" I yelled at him, throwing my hands out.