don't leave (l.h)

9.

I could possibly not have feelings for Luke Hemmings. He is my best friend. I’ve known him for two years and not only one time had I felt anything like this. 

I tried to think of other things during the day but as soon as I did something we used to do, my mind always drifted off to him. It was annoying that someone could be on my mind all the day long without actually had spoken to the person for almost a week. 

I don’t know why I hadn’t texted him, or called him. Or vise versa all I know was that I was caught by my own feelings and I knew that something bad was gonna turn out of this. I could feel my stomach both get butterflies and sink to the depth of hell when I thought of or heard his name. 

I thought about telling him, I was so sure he liked me just two weeks ago. Now I’m not really sure anymore. I guess you lose your confident when you like someone. You think too much of what that person thinks about you. You’re too busy looking and acting good around that person, so that you don’t embarrass yourself. 

Someone snatching their fingers in front of my face and woke me from my thoughts. 

”Hello? Earth to Hope?” Sarah said. We sat in a park outside her house. We thought it was warm enough to be outside today. We had packed some sandwiches and juice. 

I looked at her. 

”Yes?” I commanded. 

”So, as I said. Ashton-” 

I narrowed my eyes at her. ”Wait what about Ashton?” I asked, completely lost. 

”Have you even heard anything that I’ve told you?” she asked me, looking rather annoyed. 

I shook my head and looked down. Feeling the guilt creep in my stomach. I was too selfish again. ”I’m sorry just tell me again. I even tell you a summary!” I begged her. 

”Okay, but only because I really need to say this.” she breathed in deep, something I remember she did before I zoned out. ”Ashton kissed me!” she said, her voice high pitched and full of joy. 

”Really? That’s great!” I encouraged her. 

”Yes! And it was a really good kiss too! You know. He didn’t go for the tongue or anything, but it felt passionate.” 

”I’m happy for you. You really like him, don’t you?”  

She nodded her head. ”I just can’t believe it. He took me to this fancy restaurant -I know, ”what a cliché”,” she interrupted herself, trying to sound like me. ”but anyway he was very sweet and everything and I just. Oh my God! I can’t believe it!” she said. 

I smiled at her, not knowing what to say. She sighed then, after a while. 

”What?” I asked firmly. 

”It’s... I don’t know, I’m kinda’ scared. I don’t actually know him as well as you do. And I just don’t want to get my heart broken again. Or break his heart.” 

I laughed a little at her statement. ”No, but Ashton is a great guy. He will never break your heart, don’t worry. And I know that you don’t have to guts to break his, you’re too nice.” I told her. 

She drank from her juice. ”Thank you.” she said, twitching when a hand fell on her shoulder. Ashton. Speaking of the devil. 

She put a hand to her chest. ”God, you scared me.” He chuckled a little and then gave her a kiss on the cheek. I thought they looked cute together. ”Hi Hope.” he said to me after sitting down next to Sarah. 

”Hi, what are you doing here?” I asked him. 

He smiled to me, looking over to Sarah then his smile fainted a little. Almost unnoticeable.