don't leave (l.h)

seventh day.

I was watching TV when my phone started to buzz. I looked over to it, I thought it was weird that I had gotten a text message. But it was from Luke.

Luke:

I'm at the airport in L.A now!!! :-)

I didn't know what to reply. This means that he will be here in maybe less than six hours and I was not prepared for this.

I stared at his text for a while. His smiley was just a sign of how happy he is and how happy he thought he will be when he comes home. And it breaks my heart to know that soon I will be turning that smile up side down.

Instead of answering I just locked my phone and threw it on the floor, not caring if the screen would break or not.

Maybe he will forget about coming to my house because he is too tired. I mean it's almost 3 p.m. I kept on making up excuses for Luke not to come to my house, so that I could at least have one more day to get prepared. As prepared as I could get anyway.

My phone buzzed once more where it was lying on the floor. I rose from the couch to pick it up.

Luke:

Maybe your phone is dead, or maybe you're sleeping. But I just wanted to say that I'm boarding the plane now so, see ya in 4 hours? :-)

Yeah, I guess we will. I thought.

Maybe I was just overreacting? Luke will understand, right? I mean he doesn't even love me, so why would he be heartbroken? I guess I am just pitying myself. I'm scared that if I tell Luke it's over he will never be okay, but I guess I am the one who will never be okay. And that is why I keep on saying that Luke wont be okay because I am actually just scared of being left alone. I am scared of never being able to be okay again. If I ever was?

See the thing is, this all just started out of nowhere, and that must mean that I have always been a little psycho? Only that now when everyone started to leave it was like feeding me. Feeding me with lies that would trigger me to start a chaos in my head.

-

7.24 p.m. I was shaking. People would have thought that meeting someone you love would cause you happiness. This situation was different. I was literally waiting for the bell on my door to ring. But just to procrastinate time I was sitting in my bed. At exactly 7.45 the door bell rang. I was sweating now.

I went down the stairs with heavy steps, every step feeling more of a burden. I opened the door slowly to reveal Luke standing on the other side. He was more tanned than when I last saw him. And he was smiling widely. With his arms thrown out he came towards me and lifted me. Not saying a word.

His hands were around my waist and mine where around his neck. My chin leaning on his shoulder. He kissed my neck where his face was nuzzled in and then pulled back and sat me down again.

"Hope! It was amazing." he said. I nodded. "And there was so many people coming to watch us! Can you imagine having a whole stadium full with people who has come to listened to you?!" he smiled.

I just kept on nodding, trying to hold back my tears. If I said anything I would probably cry. He was so happy, he looked so happy. I knew this was his dream. I was happy for him.

"And, Hope, the best part was when we were standing there and facing the whole crowd." he thought back to the time and his eyes lit up like a child seeing a lolly. "Oh oh, and at the end, when everyone was shouting our names and it was amazing. Hope I know this is what I want to do!"

I nodded, finally finding the courage to speak. "That is great Luke." my voice coming out more of a whisper.

"Yes, I know and -Hope, what's wrong?" Luke asked, when he finally looked at me. I was now crying. "Hope?" he said, sounding more insecure.