don't leave (l.h)

16.

And Luke was right, there was no time for normal in my life. I hadn't had a normal day since, everything. I wish I could go back, I know that isn't the way it should be, but I wish. And I also wish that I could forget everything that has happened, because honestly, it's depressing and thinking back to it wont really help me. I'm trying hard not to think about it, I'm trying to be better, which has -well let's say it has had it's ups and downs. It's been about two weeks since the day me and Luke got drunk in my room and, I feel very comfortable with him. I'm just not sure if it's right for me to feel good while Luke does not. I've noticed, a lot, that Luke has not been himself around me. He cherish me like I am some kind of fragile glass that can break as fast as you drop it. I've tried to deal with it, but I can't stop being annoyed of how he always has to protect me and support me and look after me. I'm not a child.

I also wish that I could take that back, the day that Luke caught me. Of course, everyone would have wished for that. But the thing is Luke is not even himself anymore and I can't stand being with the new Luke, because the new Luke is not the Luke I fell in love with. He doesn't know that yet, but I've decided that what I feel for Luke is more than just a crush, I think I'm in love with him. And even how many times I wanna tell him, I know I can't because I will say to the wrong Luke. The careful one, the one I don't like so much.

I wrote down all of this in a little book I carried in my desk at my room. But when the bell rang out I had to put it in my backpack and keep it there. I don't want anyone to read it, especially not Luke. I walked out of the classroom and went to my locker. When I had put my stuff in it and then took a few other books I felt someone lean in on the side. I didn't move the door of my locker that covered the persons face, except I looked down to see what shoes the person wore. They were black sandals. I little smile appeared on my lips as I saw the golden foot chain around her wrist. I kept a frown when I closed the door and looked at Sarah.

I widened my eyes at her, to look surprised, (but I knew it was her).

"Hi." she hesitated, her long blonde hair was tied in a bun. I gave her a quick smile.

"Hey."

"Hope, where have you been? You avoided me and then we just completely stopped talking. I was actually hurt, I thought I've done something." she explained.

I sighed, of course, do I only hurt people now?

"No, you haven't done anything wrong."

"Then why are we not friends anymore? Okay I know that you can be a real bitch sometimes, but that's what I love about you. Because I know you're not a bitch in personal."

"Wow, that makes me feel so good about myself. Thank you." I said, sarcastically.

"See!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "Sarah, why do you even want to be my friend?" I asked her.

Her mouth fell open, "Is that even a question? Hope, do I really have to say everything that I like about you?"

"Yeah, it wont be much for sure."

"Can you stop this attitude? Now you're being a bitch to yourself."

I started walking, I didn't see any reason for her to like me since I ditched her out of nowhere.

"Okay, Hope! Hope. Listen to me!" she said, when I didn't stop. And I could see a few eyes turn to us. She walked up to me and her voice was now lower as she spoke. "You're my best friend and I need you, so when all of this," she said, gesturing to me, "is gone, call me. Okay?"

I rolled my eyes and bet my bottom lip, "Yeah, okay." I finally gave in. She piped up and then gave me a hug.

"I'm so sorry if I spent too much time with Ashton and didn't care about you. I'm so sorry, Hope."