Green with Envy

Building it back up

****Envy's POV****

"Something wrong Hotstuff?"

Starks question barely grabs my attention. I had been in a daze since we reached the lab.

Loki's bluntness had caught be off guard earlier.
Did it hurt me.. yes.

Should it have?

He was right. He didn't need my involvement with the others. The last thing he wanted was me making him look feeble in front of Fury.

But his words still stung.

"Hey! Earth to Envy?"

My head shoots towards Tony who is tinkering away at the head piece for my suit.
"Yes I am fine Stark. I was just thinking.."

"About lover boy? He'll be fine. He can handle Fury."

I sigh. "It's not that. It's just... ah you wouldn't understand."

I look down at my hands. Twisting them together nervously. I hear Tony set down his tool on the steel countertop.

"Your part of the team now,You need to talk to us. I know you like Loki an all but he may not be here forever.. you can't put all your eggs in one basket kid."

This grabs my attention. I had never thought of that. Laughing softly I look to the inventor. "Kid? Really Tony your nicknames are really atrocious.. I am over a thousand years old."

"Wow. Well.. You don't look it that's for sure"

"I hope not, my looks seem to be the only good thing going for me these days.."

"That's not true, you gotta lot of good in you. We can all see that.." Tony makes his way over so he is standing in front of me. "Where's the ball breaker we first met huh? I didn't take you for the insecure type?"

"I never was before... the only opinion that mattered to me was my fathers.' I huff.

"Daddy issues huh?"

"Yes I suppose you could say that. I would have done anything for his approval. When I didn't get it, I lashed out. I put up a wall so no one could hurt me, no one could get close enough to. Now here I am, second guessing my very existence.."

Tony leans against the table top I'm sitting on so he's beside me. "I get it. Me and my dad didn't have the best relationship either. Nothing I did was ever good enough.."

"Something we both have in common. My father reminded me constantly of what a mistake I was.. he said the world would be better off without me."

Tony stares at me shocked.
"Ok. Your dad is the worst you win."

I can help but laugh at him. "I used to think he was right. I didn't see a purpose for myself.. I always felt, held back in some way. But since I've been here.. I feel different."

"Different how?"

"I don't know how to describe it. I just feel l like my life has potential now."

"If it makes you feel better kid, we all see your potential. We have seen what you lived through while you were at HYDRA.. and I tell ya, any person to come out the other end of that with even a smidgen of kindness left in them deserves a place on this team. We don't care what you did in your past, fact is your here now. We'll take care of you.."

My eyes well up with tears. I stay staring at my hands not wanting to let Stark see me cry.
My heart felt full.
There was a time I didn't know if I had one.