𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗟 ! ateez ✓

─ 𝗘𝗣𝗜𝗟𝗢𝗚𝗨𝗘 ( ⅘ )

           » CHAP TWENTY ::

opening the door to his room, yunho felt a wave of emptiness briefly hit him before sitting on the edge of his bed.

he felt as though his head was splitting into two from how much he had to take in over the past few weeks. seonghwa would have already left by the time his trip with seola ends, and he would then have to go to seola's aid.

he had no idea how to console her when the time eventually came, for he himself was already broken to pieces. he, too, would be losing a close friend of his after all.

huffing in frustration, yunho reached for seola's pillow, one that she had left behind for him to hug whenever he missed her, only to furrow his brows in confusion when he found an envelope attached to it.

detaching the envelope from the pillow, he flipped it around to see his name right smacked in the middle of it. 

'my sweetest yuyu'

it read.

the lad carefully tore the envelope and retrieved the letter in it with a somewhat unsettling feeling ignited from within.

he knew something was amiss. seola wasn't one to write letters when she was the worst at expressing her emotions despite being a skilled musician herself.

reading each and every word from start to finish, yunho only trembled more profusely before dashing out of his house with tears streaming down his bloodshot eyes.

"no, no, seola⎯ please, no." incoherent pleads left his lips as he ran towards the once shared house between seola and seonghwa whilst more tears stung his eyes.

please, don't go . . . i need you.

i love you, han seola.

but he was too late.

☆彡

to my sweetest yuyu :

my yunho, thank you for all that you have ever done for me, for bringing me such immense joy whenever you are around, for i see your efforts, i really do.

i knew of your feelings right from the very start, and i thank you for putting so much care and love into each and every action, for loving me when you barely receive any in return.

all the sacrifices you have once made, the heartaches you had to go through because of me, i sincerely apologise from the bottom of my heart.

yunho, you are an amazing person, someone who only deserves nothing but the absolute best, but i am so sorry i could not be that person for you.

i am so sorry that i cannot reciprocate your feelings when you have only given your hundred and one percent to this relationship.

i am just the worst, aren't i?

while you gave me your heart and soul, i could only save mine for another, for seonghwa, who is my literal world, and more.

hwa and i, i could still remember our playful vows that we exchanged with each other during middle school after we watched a drama where the main lead got married at the end of it.

i knew that despite us exchanging that in a joking manner, both of us meant exactly what we said. for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us apart.

till death do us apart.

and so, i have to stick to my word, don't i? the promises i have once made to seonghwa, i cannot possibly break them now.

i cannot leave him to fight such a lonely battle . . . i will not be able to live with myself if i let him go just like that, all alone. thus, i have made my decision to accompany him in his journey up there. 

but please do not blame yourself because this was my sole decision. neither yours nor seonghwa's. it was purely mine.

as selfish as i might sound, please stay happy for me and do not ever lose that beautiful smile of yours, for it will surely light up the lives of many.

be happy, alright? and find someone who can love you twice or even thrice as much as you would because that is only a tiny part of what you deserve.

i love you so much, my yuyu, and i promise that i am always right by your side, to accompany you through your lonely nights, so do not ever think that you are alone. 

thank you for everything again, and i only hope for nothing but endless happiness to flood you in the many, many more years to come.

goodbye, jeong yunho.

- han seola