No Going Back

xxxvi

× One Month Later ×

My arm is okay, we ended up having to go to the hospital the next day though.

I'm back to eating normally, Reina is officially four months today and so her and Nathan went out baby shopping.

Okay, you caught me!

I didn't want to be around them looking at baby things, knowing I'm not going to be able to ever have one.

I found out that I wasn't allowed to get pregnant, well okay I could but I wouldn't be able to carry full term.

I didn't bother to ask questions, I was to depressed. Like now, since today is the day I found out.

Like "Congrats sorry I know that you came to only have your cast taken off but by the way you're not able to have a full term pregnancy!"

How does someone cope with that? No one knows either, I don't want to tell anyone well not yet anyways. Plus Elijah and I are still on offs.

I haven't been able to forgive him for leaving me when I most vulnerable and needed him.

I still love him, I always will. It's just the fact that I can't forgive him only means I need more time.

Of course I'm being petty about it since he also went through hell probably while I was rid of my memories.

But hey I was petty.

I'm currently driving to the store for the ingredients I need for dinner, apparently today was my day to make dinner.

Walking into the supermarket and I walked all the way back into the meat section. I was making something simple since I didn't want to spend so much time on making food.

I grabbed the ground beef, spaghetti noodles, tomato sauce and garlic bread. I made sure to grab some drinks as well annddd maybe possibly some junk food.

Hey, I'm depressed I have rights here. I mean I don't plan on eating to be honest, since I'm not hungry.

No, that doesn't mean I'm, going to starve myself either.

As I got home, I realized that no one was even back yet. Oh and Elijah went with Nathan and Reina.

Deciding to get started I pulled out a pot, filled it with water and heated it up.

That should take about 30 minutes at the most if anything. "Netflix? .... Netflix." I sat on the couch and started watching House.

Honestly it's a good show, like I recommend it. "This is gold." Oh no! I couldn't stop laughing, oh Wilson how you crack me up.

Crack. Butt crack. Crackers. Crack.

Oh my lord, he's selling me drugs! Oh wait he's not even actually here, the fuck.

Okay I need to chill.

It's been ten minutes and I got up to check the water. "Hmm bubbles, I mean that it's good enough." I opened the pack of noodles and dumped them in the water.

I started the ground beef as well, I mean you can't forget the meat and yes I put the garlic bread in the oven.

"Oh no! That was all your fault Lijah." I heard Reina's laugh which made me want to laugh.

Honestly it makes just about anyone want to laugh actually, the hell am I saying?

I acted like I didn't notice them and continued to stir the noodles until they were soft enough.

Sometimes I'll either over cook them or under cook them but this time, I'm positive that I got it right.

I made sure I drained some water before adding the sauce and mixing it together. "So when are you going to ask Va-"

"Shh! She's in the kitchen babe." I frowned so they were talking about me?

Oh okay.

After several minutes of throwing everything together I was done. "Okay guys! Come and eat!" I walked out of the kitchen to find them all on the couch asleep.

"Wow. Thanks guys. A heads up, about being tired would've been nice." I scoffed playfully and went upstairs taking my junk food.

This irritated me slightly, I wasted like possibly an hour cooking. "Val?" I was half way upstairs when I heard Reina speak up.

"Can I eat?" She sounded so tired and worn out. "Yeah let's go into the kitchen." She nodded and I walked back down the stairs.

I sat her down on one of the stools and pulled out a plate once we reached the kitchen. "So, what were you guys talking about when you came in?"

She stiffened, "W-What? I h-have no ideas w-what you're talking about." I handed her the plate with spaghetti and a piece of garlic bread.

I raised an eyebrow, "Oh really?" She nodded. "Spill. You can't keep anything from me, we're best friends!"

She laughed rolling her eyes, "Okay okay. It involves Elijah and you."

This time I stiffened, "No! Please don't tell me-" She squealed and nodded. Really? Oh god no.

"No. I'm going to say no." She frowned pushing her bowl away from her. "Why? You guys are meant for each other."

I sighed looking away from her, "God dammit Val that was a month ago. Let it go."

Let it go? What the fuck? Jesus!

"How could you ask that of me? Let it go? I was miserable for a week while he came back perfectly fine. I'm not ready." That's probably not true, but it's the heat of the moment.

Angry I grabbed my keys that were on the counter and walked out.

"Wait Val! I'm sorry." Ignoring her, I got into my car.

I can't do anything else can I? Really Val? Running away is all you can ever do? Yeah, I'm back to being weak ...

Pulling out of the driveway I saw Nathan and Elijah emerge from the house.

I just needed to get away. Go somewhere, anywhere but there.

Where exactly, I don't know. I hit a red light and stopped, I needed to think.

The light turned green, as I was going straight another car came towards me from the left.

It wasn't even his turn!

I braked to late and he was probably drunk because as he rammed into me the car behind me rammed into me as well.

I came in contact with the steering wheel becoming instantly dizzy. I was just glad no one outside of a car was hurt.

I heard yelling, sirens, and lots of noises but I didn't last long before I once again passed out.

Today is just not my day.