No Going Back

xxxiii

His eyes soon filled with tears as he pulled me into a hug.

"My princess." I nodded tearfully and hugged him back.

My dad, Xavier, and Issac have no idea of what I've been doing while I was away. I sent postcards when I could but kept everything vague.

"Hey papa, how you been?" He sighed and lead me towards the kitchen. We sat down together in comfortable silence for awhile.

I was then realizing just how much I missed this, how much I missed home.

"I miss her." I sighed, lowering my head. "I miss her too papa." It went silent again but that was okay.

"I didn't see you at the wedding? Were you afraid to see Luke all grown up?" He laughed and hearing him laugh made me feel somewhat better.

"Papa?" He hummed in response. I sighed in response, taking a deep breath. "I have something to tell you but don't freak out okay?"

He nodded confused but waited for me to continue. "I was pregnant and due to some issues, I lost them." I then pulled out the photos and his eyes got watery.

"I had grandchildren?" I nodded and willed myself not to cry. "Yeah," I sobbed unable to hold it back. "You were going to be a grandpa."

"Papa, do you want to meet Nathan and Veronica?" I abruptly asked causing my dads eyes widened. "W-Who did y-you say?" I smiled sadly.

"It's okay papa, I know." At first he had a smile then it switched to confusion. "Why haven't I seen them?" I shrugged.

Probably because they don't want to see you.

But no I didn't say that.

"I don't know. I could call them?" He thought about it for awhile before nodding. "Invite all your friends over for dinner."

I nodded and he went upstairs probably to go shower while I cooked something. I was always the better cook.

I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contacts and smiled when I saw his name.

All the times he made me laugh when I felt like I couldn't any longer, how he could make me smile when I was depressed.

How no matter what was going on he didn't give up on me, how when I was ready to walk away and go into hiding he convinced me to stay.

I loved him.

It was the honest truth I was hopelessly in love with this idiot and no matter what anyone said to me, it would never change they way I felt about him.

"Hello? Val? Is this you?" I didn't realize that throughout my thoughts I had already hit the call button.

"Oh, uhm hi." I needed to act like I don't remember. "Are you okay? Where are you? I'm coming to get you, alright? ..." He bombarded me with questions making me smile at how much he worried.

"My dad invited everyone to dinner, so I need you guys to be here by seven? Okay." He didn't answer for awhile. "Why'd you leave?"

I sighed, "Emily, I think her name is made me realize that I don't belong there because I don't remember. She didn't phrase it like that but that's how I took it."

This time he sighed. "We'll go over. How should we dress? Casual or fancy?" I couldn't help but smile, "Comfortable."

He hummed in response and we stayed silent just listening to one another's breathing. Oh how I missed him.

"I have to start cooking Lijah, I'll see you soon. Bye I love you." Before he could answer I had hung up already.

Holy shit.

I said the three words, and he doesn't know that I remember!

Oh, oh, oh, he's going to think something's up. I stopped my thoughts before I began to panic right here and now.

I shook my head and pulled out a book filled with recipes before skimming through them.

I decided on making simple barbecue covered bacon wrapped chicken. It wasn't something I was professional at making but I knew how to.

I pulled out everything I needed, before realizing I needed one thing.

The barbecue sauce.

Great.

"Dad! I'm running to the store real quick! Be back asap!" I heard him yell an okay before I was out the door.

I drove quickly to the store and walked through the aisles looking for the right one.

I stopped when I heard her voice. "What do you think happened? OD? Suicide attempt? Hah who knows, we all knew she was crazy anyways." Lydia said.

I walked down into the aisle, making her eyes widen but I ignored her. I grabbed two bottles of barbecue sauce and started walking away.

Why should I even both to interact with her? She's always been nothing but a bitch to me in the past.

I walked to the check out buying one of the Starbucks coffees, a pack of Hersey white chocolate drops, two kit-kat bars, and three different other candies.

I walked to my car and ignored the fact that my name was being called. I turned my head and saw Lydia standing there.

"We need to talk." I shrugged. "No, we don't." She sighed, "Look I'm trying to apologize, like actually apologize."

I laughed. "The last time you tried was in elementary right before you tripped me again."

I tried getting in my car but she stopped me. "Valerie please I'm trying here." I sighed, giving in.

"The past is the past Lydia. I forgive you, not completely but I do." She smiled and that was that before we both left.

I headed home and prepared myself for the long dinner I was about to go through.

"Please let this night go by smoothly."