No Going Back

viii

The rest of the day went by in a blur, if I'm going to be honest.

Lydia left me alone and I was avoiding Luke like the plague. Sadly, Reina had to go home today and so did Xavier leaving me to watch movies alone.

It was fucking cold to be honest, the October weather is horrible.

Walking up to my door, I froze upon hearing footsteps from behind me. I turned to see that Luke was walking toward me, which confused me.

What is he doing here? Was I not clear enough earlier?

I was about to say something but Luke beat me to it. "I know that you don't want to see me but please Val, I miss my best friend."

Images of him and Lydia making out during lunch at OUR table flooded into my head.

I can't trust him when he's with her.

I wanted to though, but I just couldn't bring myself to.

"I wonder if you told Lydia the same thing right before you guys were having a face battle." I shot back, trying not to lose my temper with him.

He let out a laugh, confusing me. "Are you jealous babe?"

I don't know why, but that was all it took for me to snap and I slapped him making his head to turn to the side upon impact.

"You, have absolutely no right no call me that! You can just go ... go ... go fuck yourself for all I care!" I shouted not caring if my neighbors heard me.

"You can't just come around and say that you miss me, not when you're with her! You're with girl who bullied and hurt me for three years!" I ran a hand through my hair and let out a humorless laugh shaking my head.

"So no Luke I'm not jealous, I'm furious that you would even consider being with her after everything. So you know what? You're perfect for one another."

I turned around and was about to begin unlocking my door but he hugged me from behind tightly.

"Luke, I swear to god. You better let me fucking go." I spat trying to get out of his hold.

"No. Not until you forgive me." He mumbled making me elbow him in the gut causing him to groan in pain and hunch over.

"Forgive you?! Fuck no! You slept with someone who ruined my life! Why? So you could be cool? Popular? I'm sorry that being my best friend wasn't enough for you. I don't want to hear your reason because I don't care anymore." I turned away from him only to turn back around toward him.

"You know what sucks? I've had feelings for you since bloody middle school and I never said anything because I believed you'd be bullied as well. Then freshman year, when pretended to act like a couple thinking it would stop the bullying but guess what? It didn't, it made it worse and yet through everything we've been through, I only seemed to fall for you more."

By the end of my rant I was in tears, I was ready to slap him again but I held back. "I should hate you, despise you, and yet I can't. I still love you."

I heard clapping, causing me to freeze as Lydia came into view with her phone probably recording everything.

"Well. Wasn't that? Touching." She pretended to wipe away a tear, before smiling at me.

That's it, I'm so fucking done with her.

I punched Luke in the face before going after Lydia and smashing her phone. I punched her in the face twice before walking back to my door.

"Now, just fucking leave. I can't ... just leave." Luke gave me sad look, but I was to angry to care.

As I was unlocking my door, my phone rang and I answered it without even checking the ID.

"Valerie Costalona? Friend of Lilian Grey?" I froze, my heart breaking when I heard Luke's mom's name.

I cleared my throat composing myself. "Yes, this is her."

"We're sorry to inform you that Lilian passed away during surgery, she was in a very bad accident and we did everything we could but we couldn't stop the internal bleeding."

I covered my mouth, my heart dropping to my stomach as they hung up.

I couldn't help but feel guilty for everything going on between Luke and I. Looking towards Luke, he was on the phone.

Not soon after, he dropped his phone and I knew he needed someone, anyone really to be there for him.

"Luke." I whispered approaching him, he turned to me tears streaming down his face.

I pulled him into a hug, "I'm so sorry."

I couldn't just not be here for him, he was there for me when my mother passed away. So now it's my turn to be here for him.

Of course this doesn't change that my trust for him is gone, and that he pisses me off immensely.

He needed me more than anything, and I wasn't going to walk away. 

Not now, I couldn't.