Work In Progress

Running out of Time

"Derek no, I don't want to talk about it!" 

He paced back and forth trying to calm himself. "I'm just asking how long you have had the tremor in your hand, that's all." She crossed her arms and walked away. 

"This isn't just something you can walk away from." He raisied his voice. "Why? I'm just going to have to have another risky surgery! I'm done with this. All of it. I'm tired!" He was getting frustrated. "So you're just going to live with it? That's idiotic Meredith."

"No, you want to know something idiotic? I trusted my doctors to perform a simple surgery, that by the way missed all the signs that anything was wrong. It was a simple surgery and now my life is being taken away from me. And i'm so unbelievably frustrated all the damn time! So a small disability doesn't phase me that much."

"It was one mistake."

"Two." She corrected

"It's a simple surgery. I can get the most established surgeons to work on it."

"Wasn't Tom qualified? He's one of the best surgeons in the state and still he botched my surgery. It's not black and white Derek."

He was ready to reply but Zola walked into the room. "Dad, Bailey spilled milk on me." He turned to his daughter and then back to his wife. "This conversation isn't over." She walked out of the kitchen. 

"Oh, but it is."

Frustration took over Derek. He hurt for her. She was scared like a child. Everything scared her. Worried if she'd make a wrong move that would scare the kids. Deep down he knew he hadn't been the best to her in the past year but he needed to make it up to her. He needed her to be happy.

"Go get changed, I'll clean this up."

He scrubbed the floor and disposed of the napkin. Zola's room was a mess and so was Bailey's since they didn't have any parent telling them what to do.  He took note of this but was determined to get back to his wife.

He entered their bedroom and saw her laying on the bed with her back faced to the door. "Meredith." He said with sorrow in his voice making his way towards her. She didn't respond but she turned to see him. "I know it's been rough but, do you want a constant reminder of this for the rest of your life?"

"I'm scared." She admitted. "I mean everyone trusted Tom right? He is a profound doctor and it was at our own hospital. So how is it, i'm still this screwed up? They said it'd go away in a month but it fucking hasn't. It's been three long excruciating months and there is barely any progress. It's not fair."

"You trust me right?" He asked.

"Of course."

"I would never do anything to put you in harms way and I'll be right by your side the whole time. We will have a brilliant team of surgeons.  And i'll be in the gallery watching okay? Think about it, okay?"

She stared at him before turning back around. "Okay." He felt some relief, for now. Depressing vibes had filled the whole entire house. The kids never played anymore. Ellis wasn't even there more than half the time, Jo and Alex babysat. Derek spent most of his time either helping Meredith or picking up shifts at the hospital. The house wasn't home. Merely a place with strangers filling the void.

Her heart raced at the thought of surgery. But he made a valid point. She knew deep down she needed it if she ever wanted to take care of her kids again. This was no way of living.