Work In Progress

Nerves

"Are you nervous?"

"No me? Going under the knife while i'm awake? Super excited."

"Amelia is doing the surgery, she's the best of the best and I'll be instructing her from the gallery."

"Family can't operate on family."

"Would you prefer Tom Korasick?"

"You know how that went last time." He stated honestly.

Meredith walked over to the crib. "Before we wake up the kids and leave for the hospital, can I just hold her. In case it's the last time i'll have the ability to."

"That's morbid."

"Didn't say I was dying just saying I could lose all function in my arm." 

He picked the baby up and handed her off to his wife. She carefully sat down on the bed rocking her child back and forth. "I'm not at all looking forward to recovering from brain surgery, it felt like pins and needles stabbed me anytime you all talked. Most horrible part is I couldn't tell any of you."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Derek, I may not remember a lot from our past but I do know that I love you."

He smiled brightly. "I love you too Mer."

Suddenly Ellis started crying which frightened her. She handed the upset child to him and sighed. Her hand was trembling but she knew that she physically was not able to hold her daughter and a bottle simultaneously. She decided to get dressed. After her fed Ellis he decided to repeat the routine he did nights before.

Two hours passed and they were getting ready to leave for the hospital. Finally they set off. "What if this is a bad idea?"

"Meredith, we've been through this."

The car ride was quiet besides Zola asking a billion questions. Which inevitably made her more nervous. He took notice and put his hand in her lap and eventually held hers in his own.

When they reached the hospital they were greeted by Miranda. "I'll take the kids up to daycare." She offered.

Amelia found the two and took them up to the room to prep for surgery. "Jo get her prepped for surgery."

Derek followed Amelia out of the room. "You got this right?" He said lowering his voice. 

"Derek i'm performing a craniotomy on my sister-in-law, i'm kind of freaking out." She replied honestly.

"You can't."

"I know."

He entered the room to see a chunk of Meredith's hair shaved off. "Sexy right?" She teased.

"Yes very." He smiled planting a kiss on her lips.

"Surgery is in twenty minutes, you okay?"

"I'm okay as I can be, I guess." She sighed.

Those minutes passed vaguely fast. "I love you." She admitted as they wheeled her away.  He anxiously made his way to the gallery. 

Amelia stared up to see her brother watching her every move.  She shook off the nerves. "Scalpel." The procedure scared the shit out of most of the people in the room. Meredith had a huge reputation around the hospital and this would ultimately decide her future. If she was able to operate again.  She labeled the areas in her brain precisely. She poked around trying to find the perfect spot.

Meanwhile a scrub nurse was instructing Meredith to make certain motions with her hands. Her determined nature was kicking in. To say she was frustrated would be the understatement of the year.  Derek took notice but felt helpless to the fact that he couldn't be down there to help her.

"There's a lot of blood clots forming." She whispered to one of the scrub nurses. "Jo get Derek out of the gallery I can't have him watching me."

"On it."

"What's happening?" Dereks voice said pushing on the call button.

"Put her under." She demanded the anesthesiologist. "Mer you're gonna be okay."

Panic ran through his veins. Jo pulled him away from the gallery. "You can't watch this Dr. Shepherd."

"I'm her husband."

"Exactly! I know you're worried but you trust your sister right? She's insanely skilled. Your wife is in the best hands she could be in and you freaking out in the gallery would not be good for either of you. Why don't you go down to the daycare and visit your children. They miss you." She reasoned with him.

He agreed and made his way to the daycare. "How's mommy?" Zola asked excitedly.

"She's still in surgery baby."

"I miss her." Bailey interjected.

"I know, I know. She's doing this so she can be around you three more. She loves you guys so much."

All of their fights came into mind. Thoughts of D.C, thoughts of him coming back to her being pregnant, thoughts of the Alzheimer's trial, and Zola. Regrets.

Alex entered the room. "Derek."