Wilbur Soot & Ranboo [Angst One-shots]

Sleepwalking

[Blood, scars, panic, suicidal thoughts]

I woke up, but didn't open my eyes yet. I stayed with my eyes closed.. maybe longer than I wanted to.

Moonlight was coming through the window, so involuntarily I moved my hand up to cover the light from my eyes.

And, I say involuntarily, because I didn't want to do it.

I just layed there, kinda surprised.

It had never happened to me before that I felt so weird.

So, out of my body.

I stayed there a few minutes and then it hit me. I had never been conscious during my episodes, so this felt wrong.

I was sleepwalking awake.

I remembered where I was and who was lying besides me, but I didn't remember why.

I just stayed there, figuring out if I wanted to wake up or not.

It was hard, because it didn't feel like it was working.

Sometime in the middle, I just, finally, decided to stand up.

It wasn't as usual. It was like watching another person control my body while I look at myself from the inside.

No thoughts, just the head empty, and the wondering questions that didn't fully understand.

I couldn't grasp onto the fact that I was trapped inside myself without escape.
That realization comes later.

I just simply watched as myself just moved arround the room, counting.

It started slower, but it was pretty unrealistic. Hearing myself not wanting to talk but talking anyways.

I started at one, pretty slowly. I was just counting, and it started to freak me out.

Kind of an 'out of this world' experience.
Even if this world is full of magic.

I started to think now. I started to panic.

This had never happened before, I was so scared.
The fact I was still counting was stressing me out.

I wanted to scream, and let my frustration go, but my mouth mas sealed, only for me to hear myself talking.

I couldn't bear it.

My vision was focused on the bed, where Tubbo was sleeping peacefully.

As the numbers started to be said quicker, my thoughts started to run faster.

The realization hit me.

I was trapped on my enderwalking state.

I felt like a voice inside my own head. Didn't feel my arms, nor my legs, just phantom feelings that surrounded me in the dark.

It wasn't like I had a body, nor that I was translucid, or anything like it.

I was just me. I was watching through my eyes, like any other day, yet I felt so disconnected it scared me.

I couldn't look away either, nor stop counting.

The numbers were running quicker and it felt like a bomb. My heartbeat was ticking, and my head was about to explode.

The moon was shining outside the window. Grey, dark clouds were rapidly approaching. It was going to rain.

My fingers moved, kinda twitching, and it scared me.

I felt shivers down my spine, and felt nauseous.

Was this really happening?

It all felt like a sick dream that I just wanted to end. Kinda like a nightmare.