The last month - Karlnap

May 5-Friends

Tw/Cw: dyslexia, depression, mentions of self-ham, mentions of suicidal thoughts and self-hate.

Karl POV:

"Karl... Wake up! We are going to be late for school!" Sapnap mumble and shake carefully my shoulders.

I open my eyes and meet Sapnaps soft glaze. First I almost got scared. How did he get here?

But then I remembered everything what's happened yesterday.

- I'm sorry... I just whisper and sit up in the bed.

I feel tears run down my cheeks. Again. Why do I always crying and acting weak?

"Karl stop being a bady and cry. That is silly."

Sapnap moves closer to me and pull me in to him in a hug. A warm soft hug, that makes me feel safe. That makes the world look a little bit less scary and dangerous.

"For what?" Sapnap mumble.

"For always crying and act like a baby. For being so weak and shy. For running away from you. For making you confused. For you to see me cutting myself. And for being an annoying asshole." I cry out loud and hug Sapnap tighter.

"He probably hates you Karl. Not even a sorry can change that. Nothing can change that and he will always hate you."

"Heyy it's okay! Cry it all out and then tell me what's going on, okay?" His voice sounds weak and sad. But still strong and safe.

I cry everything out in his grey hoodie so it's get completely wet, take some deep breaths and start telling him about everything.

About my family that hates me. About my friends that doesn't even exist. About Technoblade and his friends that's makes me terrified of going to school every day. About my dyslexia that fucking destroys my life. About my depression that is drowning my thoughts. About my inner voice that speaks to me and tell me mean things I am stupid enough to believe in. About my self-hate and self-harm.

But not about my last month. Not about that I'm soon going to leave Sapnap forever.

Sapnap have start to sob in to my hair and he is trying to calm himself to talk.

"Karl... I've just met you and the first thing I wanted to do when I saw you was to be your friend. You are so sweet and even if we really haven't talk that much with each other, the things you just told me... Was terrible and I am so so sorry for how you feel and everything and I really want you to know that I will help you through it as a friend. Okay?"

I start sobbing more. I didn't know anyone would ever say things like that to me. That a person really could care about me that much as Sapnap does.

We sit and cry together for a pretty long time before I murmur:

"You're the first person that hugs me. Truly, in my hole life..."

We decide to skip school today even if I have promised myself that I am going to school every day, we did that. I just can't do that today.

"Hey let's make some pancakes!" Sapnap finally say a while later.

"Yes! I'm really hungry." I answer and we get up from bed.

The kitchen fills with laughs and scream from mine and Sapnaps pancake-war.

In the middle of the pancake cooking Sapnap throws a pancake at me and a war starts. I have never had this fun in a long time.

The rest of the day goes great. I have fun and I think Sapnap have too. We went to a mall and brought some clothes and I also brought some nail polish. Then we went home to me again and painted our nails. I paint mine in purple and Sapnaps in orange. Later at the night/evening he have to leave but I promise him to go to school tomorrow so we can see each other again.

This have been the best day of my life.

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651 words

What did you think? I'm really tired so good night I am going to sleep now :]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL READS AND VOTES :D

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