The last month - Karlnap

May 27-Niki

Tw/Cw: Depression, dyslexia, panic attack-ish, small mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts.

Karl POV:

Niki is a good distraction from Sapnap. I don't use her, in fact. She saved me. I was on the bottom. I missed Sapnap like crazy and I couldn't even look at my ceiling without see him in my head. Now she is helping me get over the thoughts of Sapnap. I love her.

Not in a "love-love" way. I will still "love-love" Sapnap but i love Niki as a friend. I have no idea about her sexuality but it doesn't really matter.

I snap out from my thoughts when I hear my phone call. I check who it is, wish it is Sapnap but of course not. It's Niki. I click at answer and put my phone to my ear.

"Hello, Karl! What are you doing?" She say with her happy voice.

"Hi! Nothing actually..."

"Okaaaay sooooo... Do you wanna come over? I can send my address!" She soon continue.

"Yes! Be there soon." I say and we end the call with a goodbye.

I grab a hoodie and my skateboard and leave the house. Nikis address is around 10 minutes away from me with skateboard. I put it on the gps and start skating.

Around 10 minutes later I arrive to a white big house. It has a black roof with a beautiful front garden, with strict bush-lines and colorful flowers. In the middle of the perfect garden, a gravel road made it's way straight to the front door. It was a black double door with golden details.

I step of my skateboard and walk up to the door and knock. I hear some voices and then a door unlock. A familiar face show up with a smile in behind the now open door. It's Niki.

"Hi! Welcome in!" Niki say and move so I can step in.

"Hello, what a nice house you have!" I compliment and go in for a hug to Niki.

She smile so her white teeth show. Her hair is, as yesterday, in a messy ponytail with hair strands sticking out in the front. She has a new eyeliner today, but it is still as pretty. Her clothing look similar to yesterday's but I can see some changes. Today her skirt is all black and a dark gray t-shirt with some type of anime show printed on, is tucked in the skirt.

Niki and I walk in and I get a fast "house tour" of Nikis home before heading up to her room. Her parents are in the backyard, planting or whatever. We meet both her sister upstairs. One of them is looks like she is 8 and the other one around 14. The younger girl has long, thin blonde hair. She is very thin and very tall for her age. The older girl has blonde, more thick hair to her shoulders. She looks very kind with her blue/grey eyes.

"Who's this?" The one with thicker hair ask and study me with a critical glaze.

"Oh, hi! I'm Karl." I present and smile carefully.

"Oh right, this is my sister, Amanda. Amanda, this is Karl, my new friend!" Niki tells me and the girl I just talked to smiles and give me a quick nod before leaving in to a room I guess is hers.

"And this is Michelle..." Niki tell me and our eyes fall on the thin girl who just wave before also leave in to another room.

"So social..." Niki mumble and roll her eyes ironically.

Niki lead me in to her room. It is pretty big but still very cute and homely. All over the walls climbing plants is hanging and over the king sized bed, a big pride flag is hanging. It is just the normal, red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple one. In a corner a desk is placed with a lot of paint stuff on it. Some beautifully painted canvas is placed there to. It's everything from persons, to sunsets and just splatter with colors.

Except for a wardrobe, a canvas stand and a bookshelf it's not any more furnitures in the room.

Niki and I sit down on each side of her bed.

"Nice pride flag..." I say quiet, but still so Niki can hear.

"Thank you, I'm bi so..." She start, but not continue.

I shine up and take the opportunity to speak:

"Really? Me too!"

We fall in to a conversation when Niki ask me;

"Do you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend?"

I think for a moment through all memories of Sapnaps soft lips, his shiny hair, his deep voice. It all flash through my head, fast like a lightning. A sudden feeling of something's missing hits me like a gun shot.

It's him that's missing...

"Karl?"

I zone back to reality and shrug my shoulders lightly.

"Uhm... Yes I have a boyfriend actually..." I hear myself say. I get a little surprised by my own answer but decide to play along with it.

"Oh that's great! Tell me about him." Niki say happily and her eyes glitter more than usual.

"Well he is the most handsome man on earth, he is really kind and funny. I always smile when I am around him and when I feel low he cheer me up. He is good at kissing too..." I giggle at the end.

I take a short break, looking at Niki. She seems interested so I continue.

"He loves to swim in the lake but he sucks at dancing. He wear often a smile, but when his not... My heart melts to pieces. If I ever would leave him I would be a literal psycho. I wouldn't survive without him..." I explain and don't even feel the tears that start to steam down my cheeks.

"Karl are you okay?" Niki ask but I just continue explaining.

"When people are hurting me he offers himself over me. He are doing mistakes sometimes but he always making up for them whatever it cost. He have help me a lot when I feel fucked, when I just want to die. He actually loved me. And I actually love him too!" Now my sobs is stopping me to continue and tears have made a wet stain on my cheeks and on my hoodie.

Niki just put her arms around me and let me cry out in her oversize shirt. Her calming voice and slow breathing makes me focus and I get slightly calmer when she whisper to me to calm down.

"In... Out... Take it easy Karl... I'm hear, nothing can hurt you... Okay? Say when you are ready to let go..."

I nod and after some more minutes in her bosom I let go of her. We both return to our original place in the bed, but Niki is still holding my hand.

"Want to tell me what happened? You don't have to..." She say quit with a calm glaze.

I think for a moment. Do I want to tell her? No, she will just trying me to change my mind and not jump. But if I'm not telling the hole story, just make up some things? No, she will still find out.

"No... Not today, but maybe another day..." I whisper and dry out the last tears in my face with my hand.

"It's okay, tell me when you're ready. If you want too!"

I nod with a weak smile.

God please save Niki from everything mean in this world!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

1245words

4K READS?! HOLY SHIT THIS IS CRAZYYYYY!!! Appreciate it SOO much!!!

Anyway, a little update. Did you like this, a little longer, chapter?

Vote?

Love you all <3