Tw/Cw: Dyslexia, depression, self-hate, self-harm, mentions of suicide, suicidal thoughts and blood
Karl POV:
New day, new possibilities. Last night I fell asleep at Sapnaps house, pretty obvious.
Last night I cried myself to sleep with Sapnap around me. I had complained about my family and about where I should live. Sapnap just said calming words to me and I finally fell asleep in his arms.
Now it's morning. We sit beside the kitchen table. I have just told him everything that have happened since my parents car rolled in on our house parking.
"So... Where are you going to live now?" Sapnap ask and take my hand.
He hold it tight and make it warm. It's very comforting.
"Can I stay here only until the month is over? I- will fix a place then." I say carefully.
Not a fucking way that I tell him about my last month. That won't happen.
"Of course Karl! Stay as long as you need to!" Sapnap say and walk up to me and kiss me.
"Thank you..." I mumble and feel my thoughts start creep up in my head.
"Leave him Karl. He is to good for you. You can't be use him before you die!"
I maybe have to leave him... But I can't yet. He is the only one that makes me happy! He is my only chance to stay this month.
"Your dad is right! You are a fucking fag and you deserves to die. Nobody loves you."
"But Sapnap, I will need to pack some stuff from my house okay? We have to sneak in, get my stuff and sneak out."
Sapnap nod and add:
"Tomorrow"
"Yes, tomorrow."
The rest of the day we just chill. Cook some food, paint our nails (or I paint my nails and force Sapnap to paint his to) and watch some movies.
A great day with other words.
Even if we only do fun things today the voices in my head still talk to me.
Later at the night we go to sleep. Sapnap fall asleep fast but I'm still awake and, as usual, listen to my thoughts.
"Go up and hurt yourself. You deserve it."
Like paralyzed, I walk up and in to Sapnaps bathroom. He doesn't have a knife like I had so I just take an unopened razor. I sit down on the toilet lid and make an bloody line on my leg.
I try to keep in my sobs in to not wake up Sapnap. Instead tears falls quite from my eyes and land around the wound. I hold a hand around my mouth while continue make lines with the razor.
The blood from five wounds is dripping down on the floor. I am trying to clean it up and when Im done with that i go back to bed. I throw the razor in the trash can.
It feels like i have swallow a cold stone and it's hard to breathe. I still hear my thoughts fight with me but I'm to tired to listen so I finally fall asleep with five new marks on my leg.
"You promised Sapnap to not do it. Your a terrible person, a lier!"
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521 words
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The last month - Karlnap
FanfictionHIGH SCHOOL AU, DSMP/KARLNAP SHIP STORY. "I can't anymore. This is the last month. My whole life, everything is crashing. The 31st may will be my last day of living..." Karl is having problems with dyslexia and depression. His family hates him and h...
