Olympus Drive Book 5: Situation Normal

Chapter 60

Basil

Today is gonna be a good day. I have track of most of the kids.

Today is mediocre day. Lost Thyme and he killed two people.

I am now writing today off. The Hunters found an actual monster when I didn't expect them to accomplish anything.

"What are you doing?" Helen asks, crawling on top of me to poke me in the ribs.

"I'm writing today off. We will be doing today, tomorrow." I say, draped over the sofa.

"Well, Stamos is here and I don't want to talk to him; he's weird."

"You do understand the principal that sound carries, right?" Stamos asks, just walking in it's not like he doesn't live here now. "Do you want the kid-report now or after you stand up?"

"Now is good," I say, my face in the sofa, not moving.

"Two punk kids were found dead in an alley after having their heads bashed against each other until they imploded. Witnesses report seeing them buying sparklers after adopting a dog from the shelter. Dog is now gone so is mysterious dog-loving human-hating perpetrator—,"

"Yeah, safe to say Thyme did that. I'm pleading with his girlfriend to have sex with him and have been for two hours. Anything else?" I growl.

"Oh, yeah, we are going the fuck on----weird ass reports of somebody who we are gonna refer to as Luke Rhea selling people exotic pets including rare dogs, only for them to disappear the next day sometimes a young girl is seen in the area."

"Fuck," I text Luke 'cut your bullshit'. That ought to do it. "Anything else?"

"Yeah, Rhea hasn't eaten anything disgusting or alive in the last twenty four hours I think this is an imposter you should probably kill 'em," Stamos says, very seriously, reading off of his little notebook.

"You're hilarious, Detective," my dad says, pretending to try to knock the book out of his hand but clearly not.

"That wasn't that bad," Helen says, going back to the kitchen to interfere with Gerard starting breakfast.

"Your son—yours---murdered more people—" Stamos says, pointing his notebook at her.

"They were probably being mean to the dog," I groan, rolling over.

"I mean—probably," Stamos shrugs, "I don't know. I'm just saying, the town population is decreasing at alarming rate as people offend Thyme and he proceeds to splatter their brain matter across two buildings."

"Shit," I wince, "Well, it's Luke's fault for pushing for a trial and not saying 'whoops our mistake that guy probably deserved to be murdered'."

"He was never gonna say that. Anyway, have you talked to him?" Stamos asks, leaning against the wall and flipping through his notebook.

"Yeah, I asked him why he's doing this. He responded two hours later in all caps,  and I quote 'how is it you've fucked every single lawyer in the tri state area'---oh Lucifer fuck me with a pencil Helen's here isn't she?"

"I knew you did that already, you slut."

"Oh. Good," I say, frowning.

"That shouldn't be your response, boy," our dad sighs.

"I feel like I am the person who was supposed to teach all of you that this is not the tri-state area," Stamos says.

"But there are three states right here---?" I say, frowning.

"Not worth it, limited brain space, let 'em focus on not killing people and other nice things," my dad says.

I throw my cell phone at him.