Hard To Love

Talk

A/N

Hey, guys!

So this one might be a tiny bit short, but I wanted to get something out before I left for a couple days. I'm going to a friend's house tomorrow and won't be home until Tuesday or Wednesday so yeah. 

Anyway

! Trigger Warning: Talk about drugs and addiction !

Y/N POV

Meet me at my house. Gerard is going out with Frank. We're gonna talk about this.

I pressed send, then waited for a response. If Jamia is right, this is serious. I lost my dad and my baby, I almost lost Gee, I wasn't going to lose my brother-in-law. Though, the in-law part never really applied to him. He's always been like a little brother to me, which makes this even harder.

Be there soon.

I paced back and forth, waiting for him to arrive. Do I confront him about what Jamia said, or do I wait to see if he tells me himself? If he doesn't tell me the truth, will he get mad at me when I call him out on his bullshit? Will he bail? Will I find him dead somewhere? That thought alone was enough to make me tear up, but the knock on the front door startled me out of my dark thoughts.

"Hey, come in." I backed away from the now-open door and let him walk through. He honestly didn't look good, he didn't look like the Mikey I knew. "Start talking."

"I feel like I'm slipping again and I don't know what to do." He sighed as he sat on my couch. "Some days I feel too much, other days I feel absolutely nothing and I don't know how to control it."

"We can get you help again, Mikey. You know that." I walked over to the other side of the couch and carefully plopped down. Without Gerard helping me everywhere, it was a little rough doing it myself. I'm pretty grateful we managed to get the tour postponed. My pregnant ass isn't getting on stage anytime soon.

"What, so I can slip again after that treatment?" He shook his head in annoyance. "It's just a waste of money."

"Then don't stop!" I exclaimed, "The problem is you didn't continue going to therapy after the treatment center. You thought it would magically make it all better, Mikey, and that's not how mental illness works. It doesn't just disappear because you went somewhere one time."

"Why does it even matter anyway?" He huffed. I moved closer to him and grabbed his fragile-looking hand.

"Mikey, I lost my dad and my child. I almost lost your brother. I'm not going to lose you too." I spoke softly. "I know you're hiding something else too."

"What are you talking about?" He played dumb. Even if I didn't know the truth, I'd be able to tell it was fake.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, but I want to hear it from you, not somebody else." I frowned. He sighed heavily, knowing he was caught.

"Okay, yes, I've been using again. It isn't as bad as it was! I only do it when it's super bad to take the edge off!" He tried convincing me. He really fucking thinks this is okay? That his excuse is acceptable? That's bullshit.

"Mikey, using at all is bad. There is no acceptable excuse for it. Period." I stated, "You're going to be an uncle soon, something you have been extremely excited for. Do you really think this is how they'll want to see you? Drugged out of your mind or going through withdrawal? In a casket?"

"N-No, I don't want that at all." His lip began to quiver. Deep down, he knows he has a problem, and he knows he needs to quit before it gets worse. "Okay, so are we throwing me in rehab again?"

"We can explore our options first, but I want you here with us until then." I answered as I pulled him into an embrace, letting him cry. "You can help me out when Gerard isn't around."

"You know tomorrow, I'm going to be coming down hard, right?" He said, referring to the soon-to-be withdrawal he'll be going through.

"I know, and I'll help you through it, I promise." I told him. "You know we have to tell Gee though, right?"

"Tell Gee what?" Gerard suddenly appeared. He was home earlier than expected. "Mikey, what's going on?"

"Mikey is staying with us for a little while, okay?" I watched as Gee walked over to us, curious as to what was going on.

"Have you been-"

"Yeah." Mikey interrupted, already aware of what the question was going to be. "Y/N wants me here while she 'explores our options' I guess."

"It's actually a pretty good idea." Gerard shrugged. "We'll get you better, Mikes. I promise."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He cried.

"Don't be, Mike. It happens. You were there for me when I slipped, we're here for you now." Gerard reassured him. It's true though, the five of us were always here for each other through everything, even the worst shit. We didn't bail on each other. Never have and never will.

"C'mon, I'll drive you over to your place so we can pick up some of your stuff." Mikey nodded and stood, slowly following Gee out the door.

After they left, I grabbed my laptop and instantly started searching for any possible way we could get him help without throwing him into another facility. After a few minutes of searching, I found something

"During outpatient rehab, patients reside at home or a sober living facility and travel to a treatment facility during the day for additional structure and support." I read to myself.

This may work.

A/N

If you or someone you know needs help with addiction, do not be afraid to get help. People love you, we need you on this planet. 

Substance Abuse And Mental Health Services Administration Hotline: 1-800-662-4357

I love you all.