Hard To Love

The Hardest Part

Gerard
You
Both of you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The service for my father was.. emotional, to say the least. My mother finally showed. She claimed she was in a meeting when they tried calling. What meeting lasts two days?

I shook it off as I fixed I makeup. What a wonder waterproof eyeliner can be.

Gerard was waiting for me outside of the bathroom. All of the boys have been incredibly patient with me. The days I refused to eat, refused to get out of bed, the days I had random spouts of anger and would snap at the littlest inconvenience. But they stayed. I have no idea what I would do without them.

"How are you holding up?" He asked me with a sad smile on his face.

"I don't know. I just keep expecting him to jump up and laugh at all of us." I said, sniffling. I looked over at Frank, who was coming up to us.

"Are you ready?" He asked, holding his acoustic guitar.

"Yeah, I am." I sighed as we walked back over to the podium.

"Hey, everyone. To end the service, I want to play a song for everyone. A song that feels very ironic now. I want to dedicate this song to my father." I spoke quietly.

Gerard and I stood at the two microphones we had set up. Frank stood beside us and started playing the intro.

Turn away
If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors
My sisters and my brothers still
I will not kiss you
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.

Now turn away
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hair's abandoned all my body
Oh, my agony
Know that I will never marry
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo
But counting down the days to go
It just ain't living

And I just hope you know

That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)

'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.

As the music faded out, I felt hot tears streaming down my face. Everyone applauded, many of them crying. I felt multiple arms wrapped around me, finding them to be of Ray, Mikey, and Frank.

"I love you guys so much." I whispered.

"We love you too." Ray whispered back, running his fingers through my hair.

They finally let me go and I walked over to my mother.

"Will you be alright, mom?" I asked, hugging her tightly.

"I'll be fine, dear. I still have your brothers. I want you to continue living your dream. Don't worry about us, we'll be okay." She replied.

"I love you, mama."

"I love you too, honey. Now let's go, we have to head to the cemetery." Everyone walked out of the funeral home in an orderly fashion, leaving my mother and I to walk out last, in front of the six men carrying my father's casket.

These six men included my two brothers, Gerard, Mikey, Ray, and Frank. The boys were always like family, even though Gee and I fought like hell. I try not to chuckle at how this reminds me of Helena.

They put the casket into the hearse, the eight of us piled into the back of a limo. The cemetery wasn't far from the funeral home, so the uncomfortable silence didn't last long.

We didn't stay too long at the cemetery. Just long enough to say our final goodbyes.

"I'll love you forever and always, daddy." I managed to get out between sobs.

My mother and brothers had already left, leaving the boys and I at the gravesite. I contributed to sob, almost to the point of hyperventilation.

"Y/N, sweetie, breathe. You're hyperventilating. Breathe. Deep breaths for me, okay?" You heard Frank say beside you. You leaned into him and followed his breathing.

"Are you ready to go?" Gerard asked blankly. He almost looked jealous. I just nodded as Frank and Mikey helped me up, trying to keep me steady.

The boys helped me into the car. I sat in the passenger seat while Gee drove, the other three crammed themselves in the back.

The ride back was silent. I couldn't cry anymore. This still didn't feel real. Not at all. I could feel exhaustion hitting me like a freight train and I slowly dozed off.

Mikey POV

I scrolled through my phone while we continued our journey.

Then I stopped.

Someone apparently took pictures of us at the cemetery. This specific picture, captioned with 'Gerard must really hate Y/N,' Frank was holding a sobbing Y/N while Gerard glared down at her. Ray and I were just standing with our heads down.

If either of them sees this..

I quickly tried reporting it, to somehow get them to take it down, but my attempt was proved futile as more and more people kept Retweeting. Screenshots of the picture had been taken as well, making everything more difficult.

"Guys, we might have a problem." I whispered to Ray and Frank, showing them my phone. Franks eyes went wide, Ray's jaw dropped. There was no way of fixing this.

Y/N POV

I woke up when we arrived back at the tour bus. Ray got out and opened the car door for me, taking my hand and helping me out of it.

I began to notice the worried faces on three out of four boys. What exactly happened while I slept?

"Are you guys alright? You're acting.. strange." I asked once we sat down in the bus.

"So, uh, there's something we need to show you and Gerard. I tried my best to stop it but I couldn't. I'm sorry." Mikey said, pulling out his phone.

As soon as I saw the picture, I felt the tension shift in the room, and noticed Gerard's face turn to pure anger.

"Gee, hey, look at me. I know you don't hate me." I said, lightly cupping his face and turning it towards me. His face softened for a split second before turning back to rage as he stood up.

"Who the fuck would take pictures of ANYONE while they were grieving at a fucking funeral? How low can some of these people be?" He started yelling.

"Gee, please just calm down. We have that interview in a couple days, we can sort it out there, okay? Make it known that it's bullshit." Ray said softly. Gerard just nodded, slowly calming down.

"What was look about anyway?" I asked.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it." He answered before storming back to his bunk.

Okay then.

A/N
I have soooo many ideas that I MIGHT just be able to post another chapter tonight if I feel up to writing it 👀

Also, should I write a Frank x Reader fic? Mikey? Ray? Just some imagines?

GIVE ME MORE IDEAS.

I love you all 🖤
~Nessa