Hard To Love

Withdrawal

! Trigger Warning; Mentions Of Drug Use !

Y/N POV

"It's okay, you're going to be okay." I soothed Mikey. I rubbed his back lightly as he continued to vomit into the trash can I brought in for him. He was going through withdrawal, and it was bad this time.

He never told me exactly how much he'd been doing, or how often, but I'm guessing it was a lot - and frequently. Despite the sadness and disappointment I felt, I refused to leave his side. I helped his brother through this years ago, I wasn't going to let him go through this alone. Both brothers protested; Gerard back when he went through this and Mikey now, but I have always been to stubborn to give in.

"How long is this going to last?" He shivered. I grabbed another blanket and wrapped him up in it. 

"It depends on what you were doing." I sighed. "You need to drink some water. Sweating this much without rehydrating will only cause more problem."

I grabbed a bottle of electrolyte-infused water and handed it to him. I helped him sit up as he unscrewed the lid. He took it slow, knowing that if he drank too much too quickly, he would just throw up again. After a few sips, he twist the lid back on and handed it to me, then carefully laid back down.

"I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to see this." He croaked, voice hoarse from throwing up so much.

"You know I'm not leaving you. Nurse Y/N is here to take care of you!" I joked, making him chuckle. 

"You need to take care of yourself too, you know." He muttered. He was right, I wasn't as focused on myself as I should be, but I was worried about him. I haven't even showered since he started coming down, which was at least two or three days ago. I'd only eat while Mikey was asleep, and all my bathroom breaks were rushed.

"I do-"

"No you don't, not like you should." He rolled his eyes. "Where the fuck is Gerard anyway?"

"Last I knew, him and Frank had an interview a few towns over." I shrugged. I was wondering the same thing, but I wasn't going to overthink it. "I'm sure he'll be home soon."

"You should be there too-"

"Nope! Not just because I'm taking care of you either. I'm too pregnant to deal with nine-thousand questions. With my mood swings, I'd probably rip someone's head off." I giggled. His laughs slowly began to turn into dry heaving. I helped him lean back over the bed, but nothing came out. There was nothing left in him to throw up.

"Why did I do this?" He questioned to himself, but I answered for him.

"Sometimes when we're not in the right mindset, we will try anything to get the pain to go away. You remember how your brother was, and how he slowly started slipping again after the miscarriage. We all find ways to cope. Unfortunately, there are a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms." I explained.

"What's yours?" He asked, turning his head to read my face.

"I usually just stare into the void until I finally feel something again." I joked. "I used to have my own unhealthy coping mechanisms, but I knew it was hurting everyone around me, seeing me the way that I was. So I sought out therapy. I don't even think about it anymore, but I usually just take deep breaths to calm myself down or take a nap or cuddle Mitch. All of them help at least a little bit."