Hard To Love

Lights and Tears

A/N
Soooooo I've been in the hospital a lot lately. On the 23rd of January I had four seizures. Exactly a month later, I had four more. Except these ones were at work. Blood everywhere. Not a fun time.
The worst part though is my memory is rapidly declining. So I'm asking for a little patience when it comes to writing.
Hopefully my neurologist will figure something out soon.

Also, it's 2:40AM and I'm too lazy/tired to proofread. Sorry.

Also Also, I just started another story. I have so many not published, but this one is. It's called ASYLUM so go check it out. Or don't. Whatevs.

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The months following the end of the tour were spent with our families, mainly. I visited my mom quite a bit in that time, but was still almost always with Gerard.

It's one of those loves where you can't get enough of each other. No matter what it is, every little thing they do makes you melt. For fucks sake, he was singing about watering a plant and I looked at him like he was the most amazing creature in the universe.

That's because he is.

Touring kept my mind occupied, but now that we're off, the grief from my father's death hit me like a freight train. Fortunately, Gerard was with me through it all. All of the late night sobbing sessions, the nightmares, the denial, the anger. He never left my side.

Gerard Way has truly saved me from myself and I have never been more grateful for another human. We went from strongly disliking each other, to tolerating each other, to being madly in love.

Speak of the devil, I'm going on a date with him tonight.

I was almost finished getting ready. My (h/c) hair was curled and flowed elegantly. My makeup was done perfectly, and my outfit will drive him crazy. A velvet, maroon, skin-tight dress with matching thigh-high boots.

I look hot.

I grabbed my wallet and descended down the stairs. As soon as I reached the bottom, I heard a knock on the door.

"Hey, baby." I said as I opened the door. Damn, he looked good. He wore black skinny jeans with a white button-up shirt and a plain black tie.

"Hey, gorgeous." He eyed me up and down. "You look amazing."

He laid his hands lazily on my hips as I threw my arms around his neck. My boots made it easier to place a short kiss on his lips. It was soft and sweet, like him.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" I asked him.

"Mhmmm, I don't think so. Please inform me?" I chuckled at his response.

"I love you more than words can express. You're all that I'd ever want and more. I can't tell you enough how much I adore you. And you're pretty good in bed." I finished with a wink. He rolled his life as he quietly laughed.

"Well I love you even more than that," he pecked my lips quickly, "but we have to go. I have special plans for us tonight."

"Special plans, eh?" I asked as we walked out the door. He opened the car door for me like a gentleman and closed it after I was in. He made it to the other side and got in as well.

"Very special plans. No one but us. Just a relaxing date alone." He smiled as he glanced over at me. I smiled back at him, loving the idea.

The drive to... Wherever we're going, was a decently long one. It was filled with music, jokes, and laughter.

We drove up a hill, finally parking at the top. The view was magnificent; you could see every light in the city!

"Gee, this is amazing!" I exclaimed. We got out of the car and I noticed the little set-up he had. A large blanket was laid out on the grass with candles surrounding it. A little basket in the middle held food, a bottle of wine, and glasses.

"I'm glad you thought so. I truly tried with this one." He replied, ushering me to the blanket. We sat down and he pulled out various different foods. Pasta salads, sandwiches, fruit, and even two slices of cheesecake!

As we ate, we talked about our future. Not just us, but the band too. More music, more touring, music videos, etc.

He poured me a second glass of wine as I looked out to the city lights. The sun had almost set, leaving the sky a darker shade of blue. The lights seemed to twinkle more in the dark.

"All of those lights remind me of you." He suddenly spoke.

"And why is that?"

"They're bright. They twinkle just like your eyes do when you're happy. They remind me of that spark within you. That spark of hope that you never seem to lose. They also remind me of the light you hold. You will forever be the light in my darkness." He paused for a second, slowly leaning closer, then whispering, "these lights will never compare to you."

I closed the gap between us, resting my hand on his right cheek. The kiss was passionate and loving, all I could ever want.

After a few minutes, we separated. He let his forehead rest on mine as he smiled. His hazel eyes radiated nothing but happiness.

"We should probably get going. Go to the car, I'll clean this up." He said. I nodded and stood, turning away. I started walking away, but then heard him call my name.

I turned around and immediately gasped.

"Y/F/N Y/L/N, since the first time I laid eyes on you, I knew you were special. I showed it a little differently at first, but then things slowly fell into place. I was finally able to express all of the loved I had held for you for so long. Everything about you is perfect to me. How you scrunch your eyes up when you giggle, how you sing about literally anything, even how you drool on me at night."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you no matter what. I love everything about you and I will always love you. So, baby, will you do me the extraordinary honor of becoming Mrs. Way?"

Oh my God oh my God oh my God.

"Yes! Oh my God, gee, yes, I will!" I yelled, crying tears of joy. He slid the beautiful diamond ring on my finger before kissing me harder than before.

"I'm so happy you said yes. It would've been awkward otherwise." He laughed.

"I'll always say yes. You're the one I want."

We eventually left and went back to my house. After entering the house, he swept me up bridal style and took me upstairs. It was one hell of a good celebration. Wink wink.