Flowers, Fame and Unforeseen Facades

Chapter 29

Butterfly Weed:Let Me Go
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Zoe's POV

Once we got home, all four of us went to our respective rooms. Levi with me, and Jacob with Harley to their apartment. Or Harleys'. Or whoevers'. Anyway, my heart was racing, and a thousand thoughts were going through my head. I was repeatedly asking myself if the decision that I had made was a good one, or a bad one, and couldn't help but keep biting my lip. Soon, Levi was looking at me.

His eyes went towards my lips, and he said, "If you keep doing that, you know I'm not going to be able to resist."

My eyes widened as I understood what he had said, and I quickly let go of my lip, focusing on twisting my hands together instead. Levi's eyes followed my every movement, switching form my hands to my eyes, and as I sat there, looking at his face, I knew that the decision that I had made was the better one. It was better because it would help both of us overcome our problems.

I sighed, and looked up at him, saying, "I need to tell you something."

He nodded, asking me to continue, and quickly putting me in his lap. I didn't struggle, because I was too busy trying to form the words in my mouth. How was I supposed to tell him?

Quickly giving myself an internal pep talk, I breathed in deeply, and whispered, "I'm not going with you. I'm not going on tour with you."

His entire form slackened, and the previously bright grin on his face disappeared. His arms, which were around my torso, fell on my legs. He looked shocked.

His eyebrows furrowed, and he asked, "Why? Why are you not coming with me on tour?"

His eyes held a questioning look, and his gaze was set on me, undeterred. Once again, I took a deep breath, but this time, it was shaky. I was trying to hold back my tears as I thought about what I wanted the two of us to do.

"Levi, I need to stay here. First of all, the flower shop is here, and I can't imagine leaving it behind. Even if I did somehow force myself to, it wouldn't benefit any of us. Because... because I want the two of us to reflect on ourselves. We need to help you get rid of your I.E.D, and I know that it can be cured. PTSD cannot, but yours can. With the help of therapeutical experts. And I need to get over my past. If the two of us help each other, it won't be fair. It won't, because it won't be us opening our eyes, and seeing the reality ourselves. I would just take the pain away from you, and you would do the same for me. But soon, we'll come crumbling down again." My voice was shaky, and I was trying my best to not burst out into tears.

I heard a breath of disbelief leave his lips, and in a sorrowful, but angry voice, he said, "So, you just want to forget that all of this ever happened? You want to break up, and call it quits?"

I couldn't bear to look up at him. His anger was definitely heartbreaking, but the immense sadness in his eyes couldn't be ignored. A tear dropped down my cheek.

"No Levi. We won't break up. As soon as you come back, we'll be together again. Better and stronger than ever. The two of us will have a carefree and happy life, without any worries about our mental health.", I murmured, loud enough for him to hear, but soft enough for him to not be triggered by it.

His arms tightened around me, and he held me close to his chest, saying, "But I can't do that Zoe. I can't not see your face for an entire year. You're the one who's put me back together, and you know that." He seemed desperate, as if wanting to do anything to keep us together. But I knew he was wrong.

"No Levi. I haven't put you back together. I've just been holding onto your pieces, and as soon as I let go, you'll break all over again. And I know that I will too. We need to be able to love ourselves enough to stay together, even when the other is not around. Trust me, it's just as hard for me as it is for you, but it needs to be done."

I couldn't hold the tears back any longer, and they were flowing freely down my cheeks, making me sniffle every now and then. Levi clenched his jaw, and I looked up at him to see anger in his eyes. Without another word, he put me on the couch, and got up, heading towards the balcony, not looking at me the entire time.

Although I knew this would happen, I felt my heart breaking. He was mad at me. I just hoped that he would realize just how beneficial this would be for the both of us.

I didn't want to let him go. I wanted to hold onto him, and yell and cry, never letting go. But I couldn't. Because loving someone was knowing to let them go when they needed to be let go of. Both of us needed to focus on ourselves, and no matter how hard I fought my heart, I couldn't help but let despair overtake me.

I was sobbing, trying to muffle the loud sounds in a pillow, not wanting to disturb Levi even more than he already was. He deserved the world, and I wanted to have a happy life with him. Unfortunately, we wouldn't be able to have one if we didn't let the wounds from our past heal.

He was the one person who understood what I had gone through. Harley understood too, but she hadn't gone through any of the things that I had. Levi knew what it was like to lose someone you loved, and I was sure that that was one of the many reasons of our strong bond.

But in order to let that bond grow even stronger, and not just held together with the desperation of not wanting to lose each other, I had to let him go. I just hoped that he did the same for me.

Let me go.

Haha.... Please don't kill me. But if you do, I am ready. XD Anyway, hope you liked the chapter. Or liked the book. If you did, make sure to comment, vote and share. Let me know what you think. Did Zoe do the right thing? And not just on an emotional level. Did she do the right thing for their future? Let me know in the comments! Love you guys! Peace out! (This book is exclusively on Wattpad, and if you're reading it anywhere else, it has been posted on a site illegally)