Take a shot - Minsung

14 - Jeongin

It started at a family wedding, of my older brother, my mother gave me some wine just to taste and for the rest of the night I craved it, wanted more. I started to make excuses as to why I couldn't hangout to why I was starting to become distant with Chan, he didn't ask me questions, he just watched me, my actions the way I walked more lethargically down the corridor, how I golfed my head under a bright light.

No one else looked at me with such concern, did anyone else notice? I don't know exactly what they should be looking for, someone falling at any point in the sky, no location but definite. No, they weren't looking for something so obvious, they were looking for a butterfly among moths, in the forest, more poetic than a needle in a haystack, less obvious, they were looking for something under the surface, a flower, an earthquake or even a body, something that would rise again.

It worried me, but I though if it didn't change me it didn't matter, sure I got more emotional, I got tired, unmotivated, clumsy, but I always was. What I'm going through, how I'm starting to avoid everyone so they don't find out makes me feel like I'm living through a remake, som scarily accurate reconstruction of the past, I feel like Minho, when he was going through something and no one knew.

I stand, wait, hoping Minho would open the door before I even have to knock. He doesn't, so I knock and wait. I hear shuffling on the other side, Keyes turning in the lock and then a moment of silence before the door opens, before Erne wind runs past me ears and the rain starts to fall, I knew it would rain, I checked the weather, but even as Minho opens the door, I don't say anything and he doesn't offer me in.

'What are you doing here' he asks, he eventually pulls me in 'I think' I stop, I stand still, push his hands of me, his house smells like smoke and the faint aftertaste of whiskey, it doesn't smell of drugs, that's one thing. There is also the smell of cherry, a chemical cherry and apple, they both smell fake, from some candy or a cheap cologne, Minho doesn't wear cologne.

'You think what' he says opening the window 'I have a problem' I say I sit down, normally it would feel rude to sit uninvited but I feel ashamed 'Jeongin what's the matter' he says sitting next to me, he can sense that something is wrong, my usual smile has dropped and my eyes have fallen, they well up 'I've started drinking and I can't stop' I say, he pulls me into a hug, a fatherly hug.

'I drink too, a lot actually, don't let it consume you, don't let it destroy you like drugs did to me' he says, he too is crying, the rain intensifies. 'Can we quit together' I say, he nods, but I know that nod meant nothing, it meant noting after I left when I saw him take a beer out, but it felt like something meaningful, like I'd feel wrong if I betrayed it. But quitting is never that easy.

Hope you enjoyed that, that felt like the first time I've mentioned Jeongin, but I'm trying to give everyone's chapter