Take a shot - Minsung

21 - Hyunjin

We walk down the gravel path, to a familiar destination, it isn't any special day, not for everyone else, not really anymore. It's Saemin's birthday, her 18th would have been today. Me and Seungmin always visited her grave today, because Minho couldn't, and now he can't either.

I like to imagine what she would be like now, tall, dyed blond hair, dimples and looking like a soft kitten. I loved Saemin, she was like my own little sister, so her loss meant a lot to me.

The graveyard is empty, if you looked form a distance you would probably miss me and Seungmin holding hands walking slowly towards a grave with lavender and peonies in front of it, they were from Minho.

Did Minho rememberer birthday, secretly with her a good day, in heaven, I know that's where she would be, because she was always a goof person.

When we arrive, we do so empty handed, no flowers, no balloons and no gifts, I come with words, words that mean so much more than some meaningless gift. I like to pretend I'm not just talking to a gravestone or to Seungmin, that she can hear me, than when I cry and me tears are wiped away, Saemin does so and not Seungmin.

When I finish, I can barely remember what I said, Seungmin is still sat there, holding my hands, so that I don't fall, so I don't disappear, so I'm not alone.

'Are you ready to visit Min' I nod, we'd planned to visit Minho today, to give him some comfort. We haven't visited before, he only wanted to see Jisung, but recently he's been more accepting to other visitors.

When we enter the room, it's cold, it's summer and the air conditioning isn't on, it's a coldness that's only comes from the heart, from hatred. Then Minho enters.

He has a black eye, he's limping 'did you get in a fight' I ask as Seungmin helps him to his seat 'something like that' he says, he's holding his ribs and there are scars on his arms, their from nails, not his own 'is everything all right here Min' Seungmin asks, after he starts to shiver, despite what it feels like it's actually very warm, the windows are closed and me and Seungmin are covered in sweat 'why wouldn't they be' he asks, he winces, and I know something isn't right.

As we leave, I find it hard not to look back 'I think he's being abused' I say to Seungmin, before we are even out of the door 'say it louder why don't you' he says as he puts his hand over my mouth 'we'll tell the police but we can't do anything, don't tell Jisung please, he's already worrying' and so I don't, the next time I see him and he asks how Minho is I smile, and say nothing.

That's the most painful part, knowing something is wrong and being expected to smile, but inevitably the smile will falter, you can't fake forever.

Hope you enjoyed that, as I'm writing this the second episode of SKZ song camp came out and why are they all so cute