Solitude

Part Ninety Nine

Getting over Genaro wasn't easy for anyone, especially not Eve. Getting drunk didn't work, seeing as it resulting in an increase of seizures the next day, which only made the hangovers worse. Eve had never smoked before, and she didn't want to start. Three days after Genaro was killed, she finally decided to request a leave of absence, which was approved.

As soon as she heard that she sat in her room in the dark, staring off into space, crying, screaming, cursing, sleeping, anything. She didn't eat at all that day, and at about 5 a.m., after finally passing out at 1, she woke up.

When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Isabel.

"Eve," Isabel whispered, "you'll be all right, sweet pea." She embraced Eve, who began to sob.

"I miss him.... I miss him so much... It should have been me. Goddammit, why is everything so hard?"

"Because life is a mess - a beautiful, complicated mess - and we're all just human," Isabel responded as she rocked gently back in forth in the hug with her daughter.

"I will always be your mother, Eve. And I will always love you. It could have been worse. I could have died, too."

Eve was crying with deplore. "I want to die."

"You don't mean that," Isabel said.

"Yes, I do!" Anger suddenly surged into Eve's system, and she pushed Isabel away. "Get out!"

Isabel walked out, and Eve slammed the door behind her as loudly as she could.

She had to die. She needed to die.