first love ⁀➷ y.jw ✓

22

Weeks past by, I grew closer to Jungwon and my feelings grew tremendously for him, as well. Though we weren't dating yet, we would always talk about us being in a relationship together.

It made me excited.

I thought, "Am I really doing this?"

I told myself to never fall for anyone. I've always been so focused on myself all of these years and I kept to myself, staying away from love. When Jungwon came back, things changed.

He made me feel like myself again.

My life may seem perfect; I have decent amount of money, I'm good looking, I have friends, handsome brother, a good friend group, nice clothes, my own car.... But all of that's on the outside. I'm grateful for everything of course, but my mental health hasn't been good. I've been struggling with my emotions for so long.

Jungwon made me happy again.

He was still not fully ready to get into a relationship, because of some personal things with his mental health and family. I respect it, I told myself that waiting for him will all be worth it in the end. I badly want to be with him, and he makes it clear he wants to be with me, too; I'm helping him as much as I could whenever he has his bad days and he's feeling down.

Though we aren't in an official relationship yet, we both established that we belonged to each other.

We weren't interested in other people but each other. I saw no one but him; I can't help but compare everyone to him and no one is as perfect as Jungwon is.

Embarrassing to admit, but I really am in love.

I see myself with him; in a happy, loving relationship.

And I know he feels the same way.

...or so, I thought.

-

"Hyewon, have a bite." Jungwon laid his head on my shoulder, holding up a pork bun to me.

We were in the cafeteria with the girls; they sat across from me while I was sitting next to Jungwon.

I lean my head down a little and take a bite of the pork bun he was holding up for me. Looking up at me and watching me take a bite, he beams at me with proudness.

"Thanks, Hyewon. Remember, you need to eat lots! To grow healthy."

He reaches his head up and kisses my jawline, sitting back up straight with his arm now wrapped around my waist.

Yeji and Minju look at us with utter disgust, blinking repeatedly.

"Lovebirds... you guys remind me of my brother and his girlfriend..." Yeji shudders.

Minju snickers. "Meanwhile... MY brother's rejecting people left and right." She plays with her nails. "He thinks he's all that. It enrages me, honestly."

"I mean, do you know how much courage it takes for someone to ask someone else out? Jay just outright rejects them so coldly. He doesn't even say sorry." Minju adds in, putting her hands up in exasperation.

Jungwon chuckles.

"That's Jay hyung for you. Even if he did accept someone, I could never see him with anyone. He's never affectionate." Jungwon says, chewing on his bread.

"He's never affectionate with anyone BUT you, that is." I retort. "He appears out of thin air whenever we're all together and he clings onto you. He shows a different side when it comes to you, dummy." I bite into a baby carrot.