first love ⁀➷ y.jw ✓

28

Trying my best to race home and sink into my bed, I finally arrived at home. Opening the front door with endless tears rolling down my face, I walk into the house and see the 4 guys in the living room together.

Of course, Jungwon wasn't there.

I take my shoes off and try to walk upstairs without them seeing me, but it was too late, and they noticed me with runny mascara, puffy red eyes, and my constant sniffs.

"Hyewon, what's up- why are you crying? What's wrong?" Jake stands up and his smile fades, looking at me.

"Sis? What's wrong?" My brother asks, pausing the video game.

"Hyewon?" I hear Sunghoon call out.

"Are you okay, Hyewon?" Jay jumps in.

I try to ignore them and go up to my room, but I drop my bag and everything inside. Hurriedly picking everything up, I feel a hand touch my arm and I flinch, seeing that it was Heeseung. I push his hand away from me and that's where all of my emotions broke free.

"I hope you guys are feeling satisfied, leaving me clueless about Jungwon. I hope you guys are happy helping him out. Aren't you guys? Huh?" I lash out.

Sunghoon and Jay also stand up in their spots, all four of them looking at me with sad faces and frowns.

"What are you talking about, Hyewon-" I cut Sunghoon off.

"Stop bullshitting me. You guys know exactly what's going on yet you're helping Jungwon by not telling me shit about what's happening. Are you guys proud? Helping your younger friend, huh? What about me?" I slam my bag back on the floor.

"What about my feelings, huh? Did you guys just forget about that?!"

"I get that you guys are best friends and you're hyungs of him, but I deserve at least a fucking explanation. If not from him, then from you guys. Any of you. Heeseung, seriously?" I look at my brother with betrayed eyes.

"I'm your little fucking sister! My voice cracks from shouting, more tears streaming down my face.

"You guys are all assholes. I hope you guys are proud of yourselves for helping him out. I bet he's real grateful for you guys right now. Fuck all of you."

"Tell Jungwon I'm done. Tell him I understand now. He wants nothing to do with me. I got it." I bitterly scoff.

"Fuck all of you."

I storm up into my room and slam the door, locking it. I begin hyperventilating and started to freak out, my breathing getting more short and rapid.

Clutching my chest in pain, I gasp for air, the anxiety rushing all over my body.

"Fuck!" I yell out in anger.

"Fuck," my voice gets quieter, as I grip my hair in frustration.

I sit down behind my bed and feel my heart pang with hurt, betrayal, anger, frustration; every bad emotion was entering my body like a high way and my heart couldn't take it.

Trying my best to breathe, I gulped down some water, feeling myself calm down a little after a long while of sobbing to myself.

"He doesn't want me, fine," I whisper to myself, scoffing.

"Fine." I gulp.

"Yang Jungwon, you fucking liar." I sniff.

"You broke your promise."