first love ⁀➷ y.jw ✓

29

JUNGWON POV

"You made a mistake, Jungwon. We can't keep hiding it for you. She came home crying and screaming about how betrayed she felt from all of us. You need to talk to her." Sunghoon hyung looks at me with a serious gaze.

"She seriously looks really hurt. She almost lost her voice from screaming so much." Sunghoon hyung adds on.

The four hyungs came rushing over my house after Hyewon came home and exploded. They were all in my room with me while I was sitting by the window, frustratedly gripping my hair.

"I can't. I don't have the courage." I gulp, my heart feeling hurt.

"Jungwon. She was screaming and crying in her room. She was screaming at us for betraying her and helping you. You need to give her an explanation. She deserves one." Jay hyung tells me.

"Come on, dude!" Jake hyung chuckles nervously. "If you genuinely care about her, you'd talk to her."

"I can't. Maybe she'll get over it in a short period, maybe she'll forget about it-"

"Are you fucking serious right now, Jungwon?" Heeseung hyung lashes out at me.

"Do you know how hard it is for me, as her big brother, to brush her away about you after seeing her so worked up and anxious about you? She has anxiety problems, yet I ignored that for YOU! I ignored her for you. And you're saying you don't have courage to explain to her why you're doing what you're doing?"

"My sister is HURT. She's angry at all of us because we decided to help you and push her away, because you won't talk to her."

"She's furious at me. At the other guys. Because we decided to help you and hide it from her. My sister deserves more than this. You need to man up and talk to her yourself. We can't keep avoiding her just for you. She's my baby sister. I can't keep doing this."

"You don't have the courage, my ass. You just don't want to deal with the consequences you gave yourself by doing this to her." Heeseung hyung says to me, grabbing his things.

"Figure something out. I don't have the patience to sit around and see my sister so hurt because you're being a dick." He finished, storming out my house.

I sigh deeply, running my fingers through my hair in sadness and frustration.

Heeseung hyung was right. I need to man up and talk to her myself. It was selfish of me to bring them into this. Now she's mad at my hyungs, too.

"Jungwon... you really need to talk to her. I know you're in a hard situation right now, but imagine how Hyewon feels. You shut her out for three days and haven't said a word to her. She had tear stains and puffy, red eyes when I saw her earlier. She's clearly hurt because of you. She deserves at least a reason why." Sunghoon hyung explains to me.

"I don't want to see you all mad at each other. It doesn't feel good in my heart. Heeseung hyung is mad at you, you're not talking to Hyewon, Hyewon is mad at us, and Hyewon is mad at her brother because of you... it doesn't feel good." Jake frowns sadly.

"We tried helping you out because we thought you would eventually go and talk to her. We didn't want to be the ones to explain to her what's going on. Please just talk to her." Jay adds in.

"Why are you even doing this, Jungwon? You guys seemed so madly in love." Sunghoon asks me.

"I... I just can't. Things aren't going the way I imagined. I'm doing bad again and I don't want to drag her down with me. My life is falling apart." I explain to them.

"Your life was fine just three days ago. Stop making excuses and tell us why you're doing what you're doing." Jay deadpans.

"Right person, wrong time.." I bitterly say.

"But, why? You swore to all of us that she was the perfect person for you three days ago. We saw how in love you looked with her at Heeseung hyung's house three days ago! What happened, Jungwon? Did someone say something? Did something happen?" Jake furrows his eyebrows, frowning more deeply.

"I don't know, hyung. I don't know." I whisper, gulping, my heart banging with pain.

What do I do?

I can't face her.

It hurts too much.

I feel so guilty.

I promised her she'd be my girlfriend soon but here I am. I broke my promise and I feel terrible. I can't possibly face her and talk to her.

What do I do?

What have I gotten myself into?