first love ⁀➷ y.jw ✓

42

It's been about two days since the whole fight between Jake and Jungwon, and also since Jungwon and I made up. We haven't seen each other ever since I left his house that one day when I was treating his wounds, but we've been texting nonstop everyday.

He's been busy resting at home, since he's had such a big headache from the altercation he had with Jake, so we couldn't go out and see each other like... regular friends or something.

I don't know what we are and what we're doing currently.

Friends?

Acquaintances?

Talking romantically?

He did kiss me and we did confess that we missed each other, but it was kind of awkward since we haven't talked in a while; so none of us brought that up yet. I still have feelings for him of course, but I'll be able to keep them in for right now until one of us brings that topic up. Hopefully soon we can naturally figure something out together, but for now, we're talking as friends. I'm just glad he's back in my life again and I'm sure he feels the same. I hope.

It is worrying me though, that they even fought in the first place. They haven't made up yet, and I'm scared that if they do see each other or try to talk, things will get heated again. I can't help but think it's my fault, but I hope that they will make up and forgive each other soon. I've been talking to Jake separately and we both decided that we had nothing but platonic feelings for each other, and he even agreed as well.

I felt bad that I couldn't return his feelings, but I hope that he gets over me soon. He deserves nothing but happiness and I most definitely wasn't going to lie and pretend that I liked him back.

Also, he told me that he'd support whatever makes me happy even if I don't end up with him.

Sooner or later, I'll talk to him about making up with Jungwon, and I'll talk to Jungwon about the same thing, too. Maybe just not right away, because I think they're still cooling down and healing.

Today was the third to last day of spring break. On Monday, we would all start school again; Jungwon, the girls, and I. Also Riki and Sunoo, but they don't go to our school.

I couldn't help but find myself foolishly and endlessly thinking about Jungwon, and every time that I do think about him, my heart flutters so much that I form a smile on my face. Luckily I've just been home while that's been happening so no one sees how much of a dumb-ass I look when I randomly smile out of nowhere.

I was just so, so happy that we were finally on good terms again. Those days without him felt like shit. I'm still struggling a little bit on my emotional health but I've been doing a lot better these past few days. I was so happy that we were okay again that I didn't care if we acted like just friends or went back to our old ways with each other. I still have feelings for him of course, but for now, I'm just grateful that we're talking again.

I was hanging out with Heeseung and some of the boys at my house, Jungwon excluded. It was only my brother, Riki, Sunoo, Sunghoon, and Jay. I was sitting next to Jay with my head on his lap while playing games on my phone and he was watching me play.

"Hyewon, I need your help. I have a question about something." Jay flicks the top of my head and I glare up at him.

"What is it, piece of shit?" I joke and he laughs.

"Minju's been acting weird. She's always weird, but.... nowadays, she's been a lot more sensitive. Like, she cried over boba yesterday because I forgot to buy her a drink then she got mad at me. Then, two days ago, she got mad at me simply for breathing and sitting next to her in the kitchen. Do you know what's wrong with her? Not that I care, but it's annoying because she's been so whiny. Tell her to stop." Jay explains to me, a concerned yet disturbed expression on his face.