first love ⁀➷ y.jw ✓

36

JIHYUN POV

Currently at Jay's house with the guys, we were all sitting outside by the pool. Everyone besides the girls were here, so that meant I was the only girl; of course, Sunghoon reacted to this by clinging onto me at all times.

I couldn't help but notice how much Jake was staring and smiling at his phone; he's usually always on it regardless just to look at videos and photos of his dog, but this time, he was abnormally glued onto his phone the whole entire time. I'm suspecting that he's texting Hyewon, because his ears and cheeks are all a bright red and his smile was abnormally wide.

On the other hand, I noticed how sad and grumpy Jungwon looked. He seemed to put up a happy act just for the guys and I, since everyone was in a good mood, and I noticed how he pretended to be happy as well; but I can see right through it. Every time the guys talked to him, he'd smile like his usual self, but as soon as they stopped their conversations with him, he stayed quiet and that smile disappeared so quickly.

It was obvious he was upset, and I honestly felt bad.

I feel that my role towards Hyewon is her big sister, since she has no older siblings but Heeseung to rely on, and Heeseung's a dumb ass; he's more closer with Jungwon. Because of that, I naturally feel that it's my responsibility to protect her and be by her side at all times, including her boy problems.

Jungwon is also like a little brother to me, I feel responsible for the both of them as I'm older than both of them. He hurt Hyewon and that made me disappointed, but I could tell he absolutely regrets it. It makes me feel sad that he feels that he has to put up a fake smile for us, and it's clear he's not telling any of the guys about his struggles; not even Sunghoon, neither.

They're clearly both struggling individually because of their falling out with each other. Hyewon claims to be over him but I know she's not; she's been being reckless with her decisions and she's been drinking all of her problems away.

I know this because I used to be the same exact way. I used to drink all of my feelings away so that I felt numb and it's depressing that she's doing the same, now.

She claims she doesn't care and that she's moving on from him, and even though the others don't notice it, I can definitely tell that she's not actually over him. She's just putting up a front to convince herself that she's over him when she's actually not.

Jungwon on the other hand; I know he made the mistake of leaving Hyewon after promising her a bunch of shit, but honestly, I feel for him. I used to be so scared of committing to someone because of my insecurities. I felt that I wasn't good enough to be in a relationship with anyone, and I know he feels the same way, which is why he broke things off with Hyewon.

I know for a fact he 100% regrets what he did. I know that he misses Hyewon a lot, even if he doesn't show it. Though Hyewon and Jake are sorta cute, I seriously think Hyewon and Jungwon are meant for each other. I mean, they looked absolutely in love.

I think Jungwon just needs time to figure out what he truly wants. I know he's good enough to be with Hyewon. They're perfect for each other and everyone can see that.

I hate seeing them both turn out the way they did because of what happened. Hyewon's being reckless with herself, and Jungwon's secretly depressed. I hate seeing them like this. Feeling like their big sister, it made me super sad. But I have faith in them, and I know he'll figure things out and make it right with Hyewon.

"Hey! Jongseong. Give me that last juice." I shout out to Jay while he's on the other side of the pool.

"Stop calling me that, you dumb ass! And, there's no more. I'm drinking it. Go inside and get more."