Cold | Suicidal Todoroki

3 | Puzzled

This story is not intended to promote or encourage actions/behaviors such as suicide, self-harm, abuse, violence, or substance abuse.

Day 6

I was in a match against Midoriya today, and I fainted in the middle of it. I remember waiting for him to make the next move, and then the world was spilling out around me. I was in the infirmary for the rest of the day. On the bright side, most of my injuries were healed, but Recovery Girl asked about how I got injured to such an extent. I said it was from an accident that I didn't want to talk about, but Midoriya walked in to check on me as well. I'm afraid of how much he heard, even though I didn't say much to begin with.

Midoriya was very kind. His presence is comforting. He kept apologizing for what happened, but it wasn't his fault. He didn't even hit me with any attack when I fainted. He said he'd text me later today, and he did. It made me smile again. We had a pleasant conversation about our quirks in both senses. I'm glad he saved me at the sports festival. To me, he's my hero. He made me want to make amends with Mom, but thanks to Endeavor, I can't see her.

Astonishingly, Bakugou stopped by the infirmary. He walked in with his hands in his pockets and an annoyed scowl on his face. He asked me what gave and why the hell I went down so easily against Deku. I tried to brush it off and pivot to a different topic, but he did what I least wanted: he pressed it. He was fuming, saying that if I couldn't take anyone seriously, then why the hell was I there? Why bother if all I'm going to do is half-ass everything? Who the hell do I think I am? I didn't know what to say to him. I went silent and looked away. He snapped, and I could sense just how furious he was. With rage boiling in his eyes and his aura, he raised his hand and balled it into a fist.

The moment I saw that fist with that kind of aura, it felt like my feelings had been glued on and swiftly ripped off to reveal the raw, seething fear beneath it. I reflexively tried to block any incoming punches from striking me where it would cause the most damage, but after sitting there in a defensive position for a while, I realized what I was doing. Bitter, bitter regret struck me harder than any fist. I hesitantly looked up after a bit, and there was an odd, puzzled look on Bakugou's face. I could tell he was thinking about something in great detail. It made my stomach twist again.

But then, Bakugou just shrugged, snickering that I had to be even more of an extra than he thought if his anger was enough to startle me. But something didn't seem right. It almost felt like what he said was a cover for what he'd been thinking about.

Needless to say, I'm terrified. Bakugou is smart. I'm sure he can put two and two together with a little more information since my behavior was very suspicious for the person he knows me to be. I'd have certainly thought it was odd if I'd been in his shoes. But it makes me wonder what Bakugou is thinking. My mind tells me he knows that Endeavor beats me, but I know that's just me. I'm being overly paranoid. Unless I'm not. I said it already: he's smart. I don't know what to believe... I need to distract myself before my anxiety gets out of hand.