Cold | Suicidal Todoroki

19 | Aftermath

This story is not intended to promote or encourage actions/behaviors such as suicide, self-harm, abuse, violence, or substance abuse.

Day 113

I cut the note Endeavor wrote after I read it. I burned the majority. All that remains are the last two sentences. They were taken in as evidence for Endeavor's suicide. I went through quite a bit of questioning, but I faked my feelings of sorrow over his death. I know I should technically receive a guilty verdict as Endeavor's murderer, but I've been cleared of suspicion. What point would there be in saying I killed my own father? He wanted it. He was going to die regardless. I did offer to save him, but I'm almost positive it was too late for him at that point.

I was asked about all the wounds and scars I had, so I said they were from intense training with Endeavor. As for my relationship with him, I said that it wasn't anything spectacular, but that he was a good father. He was a good father in some aspects, and because of him, I was able to grow even stronger. Though, overall, yes, he was an atrocious father and a wonderful abuser. He was very good at abusing me. It's left scars that will never heal. But it's in the past. I'm stronger. It doesn't bother me.

Fuyumi and Natsuo both said Endeavor was abusive. I said they were exaggerating, but the intensity of Endeavor's training was definitely brutal, so they were simply worried about me. I'm the one that's been living with Endeavor. Fuyumi and Natsuo have both been away for quite a while. Katsuki also said that Endeavor was abusive, and I guess he mentioned that I specifically was the one to admit that fact, but I denied ever saying it, saying that I'd told him how Endeavor's training could easily come off as abuse. Needless to say, Katsuki was pissed. I knew he would be, but I'd rather not watch the news blow up with the number one hero abusing me before committing suicide. That sounds like a pity party waiting to happen, and I have better things to be doing than dealing with others' worries about me.

Somehow, my story was believed, but the aftermath of Endeavor's death is still in the process of being made. Fuyumi now must stay at home to take care of me, but I assured her that I can take care of myself. She was sobbing to me, asking why I was covering up what Endeavor had done to me. I doubted that she would understand my reasons, so I told her that Endeavor had changed for the better in terms of his abuse. I said he recognized that what he was doing was wrong, and that he apologized to me and everything. I didn't think she would believe me, but she did. I guess she trusts me. But she also said that I'm so cold now. I said I was bluntly saying things as they were, and that people change, but she told me she hardly knew the person standing in front of her anymore.

I think there's something wrong with me.